English reader · Project Gutenberg #64317

Chapter IX

The Great Gatsby. English-only reading by default; you can also choose two-column reading in English and Chinese.

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This is Chapter IX of The Great Gatsby from Project Gutenberg eBook #64317.

Who it is for

Modern reader note

English

After two years I remember the rest of that day, and that night and the next day, only as an endless drill of police and photographers and newspaper men in and out of Gatsby’s front door. A rope stretched across the main gate and a policeman by it kept out the curious, but little boys soon discovered that they could enter through my yard, and there were always a few of them clustered open-mouthed about the pool. Someone with a positive manner, perhaps a detective, used the expression “madman” as he bent over Wilson’s body that afternoon, and the adventitious authority of his voice set the key for the newspaper reports next morning.

Most of those reports were a nightmare—grotesque, circumstantial, eager, and untrue. When Michaelis’s testimony at the inquest brought to light Wilson’s suspicions of his wife I thought the whole tale would shortly be served up in racy pasquinade—but Catherine, who might have said anything, didn’t say a word. She showed a surprising amount of character about it too—looked at the coroner with determined eyes under that corrected brow of hers, and swore that her sister had never seen Gatsby, that her sister was completely happy with her husband, that her sister had been into no mischief whatever. She convinced herself of it, and cried into her handkerchief, as if the very suggestion was more than she could endure. So Wilson was reduced to a man “deranged by grief” in order that the case might remain in its simplest form. And it rested there.

But all this part of it seemed remote and unessential. I found myself on Gatsby’s side, and alone. From the moment I telephoned news of the catastrophe to West Egg village, every surmise about him, and every practical question, was referred to me. At first I was surprised and confused; then, as he lay in his house and didn’t move or breathe or speak, hour upon hour, it grew upon me that I was responsible, because no one else was interested—interested, I mean, with that intense personal interest to which everyone has some vague right at the end.

I called up Daisy half an hour after we found him, called her instinctively and without hesitation. But she and Tom had gone away early that afternoon, and taken baggage with them.

“Left no address?”

“No.”

“Say when they’d be back?”

“No.”

“Any idea where they are? How I could reach them?”

“I don’t know. Can’t say.”

I wanted to get somebody for him. I wanted to go into the room where he lay and reassure him: “I’ll get somebody for you, Gatsby. Don’t worry. Just trust me and I’ll get somebody for you—”

Meyer Wolfshiem’s name wasn’t in the phone book. The butler gave me his office address on Broadway, and I called Information, but by the time I had the number it was long after five, and no one answered the phone.

“Will you ring again?”

“I’ve rung three times.”

“It’s very important.”

“Sorry. I’m afraid no one’s there.”

I went back to the drawing-room and thought for an instant that they were chance visitors, all these official people who suddenly filled it. But, though they drew back the sheet and looked at Gatsby with shocked eyes, his protest continued in my brain:

“Look here, old sport, you’ve got to get somebody for me. You’ve got to try hard. I can’t go through this alone.”

Someone started to ask me questions, but I broke away and going upstairs looked hastily through the unlocked parts of his desk—he’d never told me definitely that his parents were dead. But there was nothing—only the picture of Dan Cody, a token of forgotten violence, staring down from the wall.

Next morning I sent the butler to New York with a letter to Wolfshiem, which asked for information and urged him to come out on the next train. That request seemed superfluous when I wrote it. I was sure he’d start when he saw the newspapers, just as I was sure there’d be a wire from Daisy before noon—but neither a wire nor Mr. Wolfshiem arrived; no one arrived except more police and photographers and newspaper men. When the butler brought back Wolfshiem’s answer I began to have a feeling of defiance, of scornful solidarity between Gatsby and me against them all.

Dear Mr. Carraway. This has been one of the most terrible shocks of my life to me I hardly can believe it that it is true at all. Such a mad act as that man did should make us all think. I cannot come down now as I am tied up in some very important business and cannot get mixed up in this thing now. If there is anything I can do a little later let me know in a letter by Edgar. I hardly know where I am when I hear about a thing like this and am completely knocked down and out.

Yours truly

Meyer Wolfshiem

and then hasty addenda beneath:

Let me know about the funeral etc do not know his family at all.

When the phone rang that afternoon and Long Distance said Chicago was calling I thought this would be Daisy at last. But the connection came through as a man’s voice, very thin and far away.

“This is Slagle speaking …”

“Yes?” The name was unfamiliar.

“Hell of a note, isn’t it? Get my wire?”

“There haven’t been any wires.”

“Young Parke’s in trouble,” he said rapidly. “They picked him up when he handed the bonds over the counter. They got a circular from New York giving ’em the numbers just five minutes before. What d’you know about that, hey? You never can tell in these hick towns—”

“Hello!” I interrupted breathlessly. “Look here—this isn’t Mr. Gatsby. Mr. Gatsby’s dead.”

There was a long silence on the other end of the wire, followed by an exclamation … then a quick squawk as the connection was broken.

I think it was on the third day that a telegram signed Henry C. Gatz arrived from a town in Minnesota. It said only that the sender was leaving immediately and to postpone the funeral until he came.

It was Gatsby’s father, a solemn old man, very helpless and dismayed, bundled up in a long cheap ulster against the warm September day. His eyes leaked continuously with excitement, and when I took the bag and umbrella from his hands he began to pull so incessantly at his sparse grey beard that I had difficulty in getting off his coat. He was on the point of collapse, so I took him into the music-room and made him sit down while I sent for something to eat. But he wouldn’t eat, and the glass of milk spilled from his trembling hand.

“I saw it in the Chicago newspaper,” he said. “It was all in the Chicago newspaper. I started right away.”

“I didn’t know how to reach you.”

His eyes, seeing nothing, moved ceaselessly about the room.

“It was a madman,” he said. “He must have been mad.”

“Wouldn’t you like some coffee?” I urged him.

“I don’t want anything. I’m all right now, Mr.—”

“Carraway.”

“Well, I’m all right now. Where have they got Jimmy?”

I took him into the drawing-room, where his son lay, and left him there. Some little boys had come up on the steps and were looking into the hall; when I told them who had arrived, they went reluctantly away.

After a little while Mr. Gatz opened the door and came out, his mouth ajar, his face flushed slightly, his eyes leaking isolated and unpunctual tears. He had reached an age where death no longer has the quality of ghastly surprise, and when he looked around him now for the first time and saw the height and splendour of the hall and the great rooms opening out from it into other rooms, his grief began to be mixed with an awed pride. I helped him to a bedroom upstairs; while he took off his coat and vest I told him that all arrangements had been deferred until he came.

“I didn’t know what you’d want, Mr. Gatsby—”

“Gatz is my name.”

“—Mr. Gatz. I thought you might want to take the body West.”

He shook his head.

“Jimmy always liked it better down East. He rose up to his position in the East. Were you a friend of my boy’s, Mr.—?”

“We were close friends.”

“He had a big future before him, you know. He was only a young man, but he had a lot of brain power here.”

He touched his head impressively, and I nodded.

“If he’d of lived, he’d of been a great man. A man like James J. Hill. He’d of helped build up the country.”

“That’s true,” I said, uncomfortably.

He fumbled at the embroidered coverlet, trying to take it from the bed, and lay down stiffly—was instantly asleep.

That night an obviously frightened person called up, and demanded to know who I was before he would give his name.

“This is Mr. Carraway,” I said.

“Oh!” He sounded relieved. “This is Klipspringer.”

I was relieved too, for that seemed to promise another friend at Gatsby’s grave. I didn’t want it to be in the papers and draw a sightseeing crowd, so I’d been calling up a few people myself. They were hard to find.

“The funeral’s tomorrow,” I said. “Three o’clock, here at the house. I wish you’d tell anybody who’d be interested.”

“Oh, I will,” he broke out hastily. “Of course I’m not likely to see anybody, but if I do.”

His tone made me suspicious.

“Of course you’ll be there yourself.”

“Well, I’ll certainly try. What I called up about is—”

“Wait a minute,” I interrupted. “How about saying you’ll come?”

“Well, the fact is—the truth of the matter is that I’m staying with some people up here in Greenwich, and they rather expect me to be with them tomorrow. In fact, there’s a sort of picnic or something. Of course I’ll do my best to get away.”

I ejaculated an unrestrained “Huh!” and he must have heard me, for he went on nervously:

“What I called up about was a pair of shoes I left there. I wonder if it’d be too much trouble to have the butler send them on. You see, they’re tennis shoes, and I’m sort of helpless without them. My address is care of B. F.—”

I didn’t hear the rest of the name, because I hung up the receiver.

After that I felt a certain shame for Gatsby—one gentleman to whom I telephoned implied that he had got what he deserved. However, that was my fault, for he was one of those who used to sneer most bitterly at Gatsby on the courage of Gatsby’s liquor, and I should have known better than to call him.

The morning of the funeral I went up to New York to see Meyer Wolfshiem; I couldn’t seem to reach him any other way. The door that I pushed open, on the advice of an elevator boy, was marked “The Swastika Holding Company,” and at first there didn’t seem to be anyone inside. But when I’d shouted “hello” several times in vain, an argument broke out behind a partition, and presently a lovely Jewess appeared at an interior door and scrutinized me with black hostile eyes.

“Nobody’s in,” she said. “Mr. Wolfshiem’s gone to Chicago.”

The first part of this was obviously untrue, for someone had begun to whistle “The Rosary,” tunelessly, inside.

“Please say that Mr. Carraway wants to see him.”

“I can’t get him back from Chicago, can I?”

At this moment a voice, unmistakably Wolfshiem’s, called “Stella!” from the other side of the door.

“Leave your name on the desk,” she said quickly. “I’ll give it to him when he gets back.”

“But I know he’s there.”

She took a step toward me and began to slide her hands indignantly up and down her hips.

“You young men think you can force your way in here any time,” she scolded. “We’re getting sickantired of it. When I say he’s in Chicago, he’s in Chicago.”

I mentioned Gatsby.

“Oh-h!” She looked at me over again. “Will you just—What was your name?”

She vanished. In a moment Meyer Wolfshiem stood solemnly in the doorway, holding out both hands. He drew me into his office, remarking in a reverent voice that it was a sad time for all of us, and offered me a cigar.

“My memory goes back to when first I met him,” he said. “A young major just out of the army and covered over with medals he got in the war. He was so hard up he had to keep on wearing his uniform because he couldn’t buy some regular clothes. First time I saw him was when he came into Winebrenner’s poolroom at Forty-third Street and asked for a job. He hadn’t eat anything for a couple of days. ‘Come on have some lunch with me,’ I said. He ate more than four dollars’ worth of food in half an hour.”

“Did you start him in business?” I inquired.

“Start him! I made him.”

“Oh.”

“I raised him up out of nothing, right out of the gutter. I saw right away he was a fine-appearing, gentlemanly young man, and when he told me he was at Oggsford I knew I could use him good. I got him to join the American Legion and he used to stand high there. Right off he did some work for a client of mine up to Albany. We were so thick like that in everything”—he held up two bulbous fingers—“always together.”

I wondered if this partnership had included the World’s Series transaction in 1919.

“Now he’s dead,” I said after a moment. “You were his closest friend, so I know you’ll want to come to his funeral this afternoon.”

“I’d like to come.”

“Well, come then.”

The hair in his nostrils quivered slightly, and as he shook his head his eyes filled with tears.

“I can’t do it—I can’t get mixed up in it,” he said.

“There’s nothing to get mixed up in. It’s all over now.”

“When a man gets killed I never like to get mixed up in it in any way. I keep out. When I was a young man it was different—if a friend of mine died, no matter how, I stuck with them to the end. You may think that’s sentimental, but I mean it—to the bitter end.”

I saw that for some reason of his own he was determined not to come, so I stood up.

“Are you a college man?” he inquired suddenly.

For a moment I thought he was going to suggest a “gonnegtion,” but he only nodded and shook my hand.

“Let us learn to show our friendship for a man when he is alive and not after he is dead,” he suggested. “After that my own rule is to let everything alone.”

When I left his office the sky had turned dark and I got back to West Egg in a drizzle. After changing my clothes I went next door and found Mr. Gatz walking up and down excitedly in the hall. His pride in his son and in his son’s possessions was continually increasing and now he had something to show me.

“Jimmy sent me this picture.” He took out his wallet with trembling fingers. “Look there.”

It was a photograph of the house, cracked in the corners and dirty with many hands. He pointed out every detail to me eagerly. “Look there!” and then sought admiration from my eyes. He had shown it so often that I think it was more real to him now than the house itself.

“Jimmy sent it to me. I think it’s a very pretty picture. It shows up well.”

“Very well. Had you seen him lately?”

“He come out to see me two years ago and bought me the house I live in now. Of course we was broke up when he run off from home, but I see now there was a reason for it. He knew he had a big future in front of him. And ever since he made a success he was very generous with me.”

He seemed reluctant to put away the picture, held it for another minute, lingeringly, before my eyes. Then he returned the wallet and pulled from his pocket a ragged old copy of a book called Hopalong Cassidy.

“Look here, this is a book he had when he was a boy. It just shows you.”

He opened it at the back cover and turned it around for me to see. On the last flyleaf was printed the word schedule, and the date September 12, 1906. And underneath:

Rise from bed 6:00 a.m. Dumbell exercise and wall-scaling 6:15-6:30 ” Study electricity, etc. 7:15-8:15 ” Work 8:30-4:30 p.m. Baseball and sports 4:30-5:00 ” Practise elocution, poise and how to attain it 5:00-6:00 ” Study needed inventions 7:00-9:00 ”

General Resolves

* No wasting time at Shafters or (a name, indecipherable)

* No more smokeing or chewing.

* Bath every other day

* Read one improving book or magazine per week

* Save $5.00 [crossed out] $3.00 per week

* Be better to parents

“I came across this book by accident,” said the old man. “It just shows you, don’t it?”

“It just shows you.”

“Jimmy was bound to get ahead. He always had some resolves like this or something. Do you notice what he’s got about improving his mind? He was always great for that. He told me I et like a hog once, and I beat him for it.”

He was reluctant to close the book, reading each item aloud and then looking eagerly at me. I think he rather expected me to copy down the list for my own use.

A little before three the Lutheran minister arrived from Flushing, and I began to look involuntarily out the windows for other cars. So did Gatsby’s father. And as the time passed and the servants came in and stood waiting in the hall, his eyes began to blink anxiously, and he spoke of the rain in a worried, uncertain way. The minister glanced several times at his watch, so I took him aside and asked him to wait for half an hour. But it wasn’t any use. Nobody came.

About five o’clock our procession of three cars reached the cemetery and stopped in a thick drizzle beside the gate—first a motor hearse, horribly black and wet, then Mr. Gatz and the minister and me in the limousine, and a little later four or five servants and the postman from West Egg, in Gatsby’s station wagon, all wet to the skin. As we started through the gate into the cemetery I heard a car stop and then the sound of someone splashing after us over the soggy ground. I looked around. It was the man with owl-eyed glasses whom I had found marvelling over Gatsby’s books in the library one night three months before.

I’d never seen him since then. I don’t know how he knew about the funeral, or even his name. The rain poured down his thick glasses, and he took them off and wiped them to see the protecting canvas unrolled from Gatsby’s grave.

I tried to think about Gatsby then for a moment, but he was already too far away, and I could only remember, without resentment, that Daisy hadn’t sent a message or a flower. Dimly I heard someone murmur “Blessed are the dead that the rain falls on,” and then the owl-eyed man said “Amen to that,” in a brave voice.

We straggled down quickly through the rain to the cars. Owl-eyes spoke to me by the gate.

“I couldn’t get to the house,” he remarked.

“Neither could anybody else.”

“Go on!” He started. “Why, my God! they used to go there by the hundreds.”

He took off his glasses and wiped them again, outside and in.

“The poor son-of-a-bitch,” he said.

One of my most vivid memories is of coming back West from prep school and later from college at Christmas time. Those who went farther than Chicago would gather in the old dim Union Station at six o’clock of a December evening, with a few Chicago friends, already caught up into their own holiday gaieties, to bid them a hasty goodbye. I remember the fur coats of the girls returning from Miss This-or-That’s and the chatter of frozen breath and the hands waving overhead as we caught sight of old acquaintances, and the matchings of invitations: “Are you going to the Ordways’? the Herseys’? the Schultzes’?” and the long green tickets clasped tight in our gloved hands. And last the murky yellow cars of the Chicago, Milwaukee and St. Paul railroad looking cheerful as Christmas itself on the tracks beside the gate.

When we pulled out into the winter night and the real snow, our snow, began to stretch out beside us and twinkle against the windows, and the dim lights of small Wisconsin stations moved by, a sharp wild brace came suddenly into the air. We drew in deep breaths of it as we walked back from dinner through the cold vestibules, unutterably aware of our identity with this country for one strange hour, before we melted indistinguishably into it again.

That’s my Middle West—not the wheat or the prairies or the lost Swede towns, but the thrilling returning trains of my youth, and the street lamps and sleigh bells in the frosty dark and the shadows of holly wreaths thrown by lighted windows on the snow. I am part of that, a little solemn with the feel of those long winters, a little complacent from growing up in the Carraway house in a city where dwellings are still called through decades by a family’s name. I see now that this has been a story of the West, after all—Tom and Gatsby, Daisy and Jordan and I, were all Westerners, and perhaps we possessed some deficiency in common which made us subtly unadaptable to Eastern life.

Even when the East excited me most, even when I was most keenly aware of its superiority to the bored, sprawling, swollen towns beyond the Ohio, with their interminable inquisitions which spared only the children and the very old—even then it had always for me a quality of distortion. West Egg, especially, still figures in my more fantastic dreams. I see it as a night scene by El Greco: a hundred houses, at once conventional and grotesque, crouching under a sullen, overhanging sky and a lustreless moon. In the foreground four solemn men in dress suits are walking along the sidewalk with a stretcher on which lies a drunken woman in a white evening dress. Her hand, which dangles over the side, sparkles cold with jewels. Gravely the men turn in at a house—the wrong house. But no one knows the woman’s name, and no one cares.

After Gatsby’s death the East was haunted for me like that, distorted beyond my eyes’ power of correction. So when the blue smoke of brittle leaves was in the air and the wind blew the wet laundry stiff on the line I decided to come back home.

There was one thing to be done before I left, an awkward, unpleasant thing that perhaps had better have been let alone. But I wanted to leave things in order and not just trust that obliging and indifferent sea to sweep my refuse away. I saw Jordan Baker and talked over and around what had happened to us together, and what had happened afterward to me, and she lay perfectly still, listening, in a big chair.

She was dressed to play golf, and I remember thinking she looked like a good illustration, her chin raised a little jauntily, her hair the colour of an autumn leaf, her face the same brown tint as the fingerless glove on her knee. When I had finished she told me without comment that she was engaged to another man. I doubted that, though there were several she could have married at a nod of her head, but I pretended to be surprised. For just a minute I wondered if I wasn’t making a mistake, then I thought it all over again quickly and got up to say goodbye.

“Nevertheless you did throw me over,” said Jordan suddenly. “You threw me over on the telephone. I don’t give a damn about you now, but it was a new experience for me, and I felt a little dizzy for a while.”

We shook hands.

“Oh, and do you remember”—she added—“a conversation we had once about driving a car?”

“Why—not exactly.”

“You said a bad driver was only safe until she met another bad driver? Well, I met another bad driver, didn’t I? I mean it was careless of me to make such a wrong guess. I thought you were rather an honest, straightforward person. I thought it was your secret pride.”

“I’m thirty,” I said. “I’m five years too old to lie to myself and call it honour.”

She didn’t answer. Angry, and half in love with her, and tremendously sorry, I turned away.

One afternoon late in October I saw Tom Buchanan. He was walking ahead of me along Fifth Avenue in his alert, aggressive way, his hands out a little from his body as if to fight off interference, his head moving sharply here and there, adapting itself to his restless eyes. Just as I slowed up to avoid overtaking him he stopped and began frowning into the windows of a jewellery store. Suddenly he saw me and walked back, holding out his hand.

“What’s the matter, Nick? Do you object to shaking hands with me?”

“Yes. You know what I think of you.”

“You’re crazy, Nick,” he said quickly. “Crazy as hell. I don’t know what’s the matter with you.”

“Tom,” I inquired, “what did you say to Wilson that afternoon?”

He stared at me without a word, and I knew I had guessed right about those missing hours. I started to turn away, but he took a step after me and grabbed my arm.

“I told him the truth,” he said. “He came to the door while we were getting ready to leave, and when I sent down word that we weren’t in he tried to force his way upstairs. He was crazy enough to kill me if I hadn’t told him who owned the car. His hand was on a revolver in his pocket every minute he was in the house—” He broke off defiantly. “What if I did tell him? That fellow had it coming to him. He threw dust into your eyes just like he did in Daisy’s, but he was a tough one. He ran over Myrtle like you’d run over a dog and never even stopped his car.”

There was nothing I could say, except the one unutterable fact that it wasn’t true.

“And if you think I didn’t have my share of suffering—look here, when I went to give up that flat and saw that damn box of dog biscuits sitting there on the sideboard, I sat down and cried like a baby. By God it was awful—”

I couldn’t forgive him or like him, but I saw that what he had done was, to him, entirely justified. It was all very careless and confused. They were careless people, Tom and Daisy—they smashed up things and creatures and then retreated back into their money or their vast carelessness, or whatever it was that kept them together, and let other people clean up the mess they had made …

I shook hands with him; it seemed silly not to, for I felt suddenly as though I were talking to a child. Then he went into the jewellery store to buy a pearl necklace—or perhaps only a pair of cuff buttons—rid of my provincial squeamishness forever.

Gatsby’s house was still empty when I left—the grass on his lawn had grown as long as mine. One of the taxi drivers in the village never took a fare past the entrance gate without stopping for a minute and pointing inside; perhaps it was he who drove Daisy and Gatsby over to East Egg the night of the accident, and perhaps he had made a story about it all his own. I didn’t want to hear it and I avoided him when I got off the train.

I spent my Saturday nights in New York because those gleaming, dazzling parties of his were with me so vividly that I could still hear the music and the laughter, faint and incessant, from his garden, and the cars going up and down his drive. One night I did hear a material car there, and saw its lights stop at his front steps. But I didn’t investigate. Probably it was some final guest who had been away at the ends of the earth and didn’t know that the party was over.

On the last night, with my trunk packed and my car sold to the grocer, I went over and looked at that huge incoherent failure of a house once more. On the white steps an obscene word, scrawled by some boy with a piece of brick, stood out clearly in the moonlight, and I erased it, drawing my shoe raspingly along the stone. Then I wandered down to the beach and sprawled out on the sand.

Most of the big shore places were closed now and there were hardly any lights except the shadowy, moving glow of a ferryboat across the Sound. And as the moon rose higher the inessential houses began to melt away until gradually I became aware of the old island here that flowered once for Dutch sailors’ eyes—a fresh, green breast of the new world. Its vanished trees, the trees that had made way for Gatsby’s house, had once pandered in whispers to the last and greatest of all human dreams; for a transitory enchanted moment man must have held his breath in the presence of this continent, compelled into an aesthetic contemplation he neither understood nor desired, face to face for the last time in history with something commensurate to his capacity for wonder.

And as I sat there brooding on the old, unknown world, I thought of Gatsby’s wonder when he first picked out the green light at the end of Daisy’s dock. He had come a long way to this blue lawn, and his dream must have seemed so close that he could hardly fail to grasp it. He did not know that it was already behind him, somewhere back in that vast obscurity beyond the city, where the dark fields of the republic rolled on under the night.

Gatsby believed in the green light, the orgiastic future that year by year recedes before us. It eluded us then, but that’s no matter—tomorrow we will run faster, stretch out our arms further … And one fine morning—

So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.

中文

两年以后,我回想那天余下的时间、那个夜晚和第二天,只记得警察、摄影记者和报社记者无休止地从盖茨比前门进进出出。正门横着一根绳子,旁边有警察阻挡好奇人群;可小男孩很快发现可以从我家院子进去,游泳池边总有几个孩子张着嘴围在那里。那天下午,一个态度肯定的人——也许是侦探——俯身查看威尔逊尸体时用了“疯子”这个词;他声音里偶然获得的权威,为第二天的新闻报道定下了基调。

那些报道大多像噩梦——怪诞、细节丰富、迫不及待,而且不真实。迈克利斯在验尸调查中的证词揭露威尔逊对妻子的怀疑时,我以为整件事很快会被加工成辛辣讽刺故事;可本来什么都可能说出来的凯瑟琳,却一句话也没说。她对此表现出惊人的性格力量——在重新画过的眉毛下,用坚定目光看着验尸官,发誓姐姐从没见过盖茨比,姐姐和丈夫生活得完全幸福,姐姐根本没有做过任何不轨之事。她让自己也相信了这些话,对着手帕哭泣,仿佛光是那种暗示就已经超出承受范围。于是,为了让案件保持最简单形式,威尔逊被归结为“悲痛导致精神失常的人”。事情就此停住。

可这一切在我看来遥远而不重要。我发现自己站在盖茨比一边,而且孤身一人。从我打电话把灾难消息告诉西卵村开始,所有关于他的猜测和所有实际问题都转向我。起初我惊讶又困惑;后来,随着他一小时又一小时躺在房中,不动、不呼吸、不说话,我逐渐意识到自己负有责任,因为没有别人真正关心——我是说,以那种每个人在生命终点都模糊有权获得的强烈个人关切来关心。

我们发现盖茨比半小时后,我本能而毫不犹豫地给黛西打电话。可她和汤姆当天下午很早就离开了,还带走了行李。

“没留下地址?”

“没有。”

“说过什么时候回来吗?”

“没有。”

“知道他们去哪儿了吗?我怎样才能联系到他们?”

“不知道。说不准。”

我想替他找一个人。我想走进他躺着的房间安慰他:“我会替你找到一个人,盖茨比。别担心。相信我,我会替你找到一个人——”

电话簿里没有迈耶·沃尔夫山姆的名字。男管家给了我他在百老汇的办公室地址,我打电话给查号台;可拿到号码时早已过了五点,电话无人接听。

“能再拨一次吗?”

“我已经拨过三次了。”

“这非常重要。”

“抱歉。恐怕那里没人。”

我回到客厅,一瞬间以为这些突然挤满房间的官方人员只是偶然来访者。可当他们掀开床单,用震惊眼神看着盖茨比时,他的抗议仍在我脑中继续:

“听我说,老兄,你必须替我找个人。你得努力。我不能一个人熬过这件事。”

有人开始问我问题,可我挣脱他们,上楼匆匆翻找他书桌里没有上锁的部分——他从未明确告诉我父母已经去世。可那里什么也没有,只有丹·科迪的照片,作为被遗忘暴力的象征,从墙上俯视。

第二天早晨,我让男管家带信去纽约给沃尔夫山姆,询问信息并催他乘下一班火车赶来。写信时,这个请求似乎多余。我确信他看见报纸就会动身,也确信中午前一定会收到黛西电报——可电报和沃尔夫山姆先生都没有来;来的只有更多警察、摄影记者和报社记者。男管家带回沃尔夫山姆的回信时,我开始产生一种反抗感,仿佛盖茨比和我轻蔑地团结起来,对抗他们所有人。

亲爱的卡拉韦先生:这对我来说是人生中最可怕的打击之一,我几乎不能相信这是真的。那个人做出这种疯狂举动,应该让我们所有人深思。我现在不能过去,因为有一些非常重要的生意缠住我,而且现在不能卷进这件事。如果晚些时候有什么我能做的,请通过埃德加写信告诉我。听到这种事情,我简直不知道自己身在何处,完全被击垮了。

您真诚的

迈耶·沃尔夫山姆

下面又匆忙补了一句:

请告诉我葬礼等等的情况,我完全不了解他的家人。

当天下午电话响起,长途台说芝加哥来电时,我以为终于是黛西。可接通后是一个男人的声音,极细又遥远。

“我是斯莱格……”

“什么事?”这个名字对我很陌生。

“真倒霉,是吧?收到我电报了吗?”

“没有收到任何电报。”

“年轻帕克出事了。”他飞快说,“他把债券交到柜台时被抓了。他们五分钟前刚收到纽约发来的通报,上面有那些编号。你说怪不怪?这些乡下小镇真是什么都说不准——”

“喂!”我喘着气打断,“听着——这里不是盖茨比先生。盖茨比先生已经死了。”

电话另一头长久沉默,随后是一声惊呼……接着连接断开,发出短促尖叫。

我想是在第三天,一封署名亨利·C·盖茨的电报从明尼苏达一个小镇寄来。上面只说发报人会立刻动身,请把葬礼推迟到他抵达。

那是盖茨比的父亲,一个庄重、无助而惊慌的老人。在温暖九月天里,他仍裹着一件廉价长外套。激动使他的眼睛不断流泪;我从他手里接过旅行袋和雨伞时,他不停拉扯稀疏灰胡子,让我很难替他脱下外套。他几乎要垮掉了,我把他带进音乐室坐下,又叫人送来食物。可他不肯吃,手不停发抖,把一杯牛奶洒了出来。

“我在芝加哥报纸上看见的。”他说,“芝加哥报纸上全都登了。我马上就出发了。”

“我不知道怎样联系您。”

他的眼睛什么也没看见,却不停在房间里移动。

“那是个疯子。”他说,“他一定疯了。”

“您想不想喝点咖啡?”我劝他。

“我什么都不要。我现在没事了,先生——”

“卡拉韦。”

“好,我现在没事了。他们把吉米放在哪里?”

我把他带进儿子躺着的客厅,随后离开。有几个小男孩已经走上台阶,正朝门厅里张望;我告诉他们是谁到了,他们才不情愿地离开。

过了一会儿,盖茨先生开门出来,嘴微张,脸微微涨红,眼睛流下一颗颗没有规律的泪。他已经到了死亡不再带来恐怖惊奇的年龄;可当他这时第一次环顾四周,看见门厅的高度和华丽,以及一间间大房间彼此敞开时,悲伤开始混入敬畏的骄傲。我扶他到楼上一间卧室;他脱外套和背心时,我告诉他所有安排都已经推迟,等他到来。

“我不知道您会想怎样处理,盖茨比先生——”

“我姓盖茨。”

“——盖茨先生。我以为您也许想把遗体带回西部。”

他摇了摇头。

“吉米一直更喜欢东部。他是在东部获得地位的。你是我儿子的朋友吗,先生——?”

“我们是亲密朋友。”

“你知道,他本来有远大前途。他只是个年轻人,可这里有很多脑力。”

他郑重地碰了碰自己的头,我点头。

“如果他活着,他会成为伟大人物。像詹姆斯·J·希尔那样的人。他会帮助建设这个国家。”

“确实如此。”我不自在地说。

他笨拙地摸索刺绣床罩,想把它从床上掀开,随后僵硬地躺下——立刻睡着了。

那天夜里,一个明显受到惊吓的人打来电话,在报出姓名以前,先要求知道我是谁。

“我是卡拉韦先生。”我说。

“哦!”他听起来松了一口气,“我是克利普斯普林格。”

我也松了口气,因为这似乎意味着盖茨比墓前终于会多一个朋友。我不希望葬礼登上报纸,引来观光人群,所以一直亲自给几个人打电话。可他们很难找到。

“葬礼在明天下午三点,就在这里举行。希望你能告诉任何可能关心的人。”

“哦,我会的。”他急忙插话,“当然,我不一定见得到谁,不过如果见到了——”

他的语气让我起疑。

“你本人当然会来。”

“嗯,我一定尽量。其实我打电话是因为——”

“等一下。”我打断他,“直接说你会来怎么样?”

“嗯,事实是——实话说,我现在住在格林尼治的一户人家,他们很希望我明天陪他们。其实还有一个野餐会之类的活动。当然,我会尽最大努力脱身。”

我不加克制地“哼!”了一声;他一定听见了,因为更加紧张地继续:

“我打电话是因为有一双鞋落在那里。我想请男管家寄过来,会不会太麻烦?你看,那是双网球鞋,没有它们我有点寸步难行。地址是转交B. F.——”

我没听见后面的名字,因为已经挂断电话。

在这以后,我替盖茨比感到某种羞耻——有个我打电话联系的绅士暗示,盖茨比得到的是自己应得的。不过那是我的错,因为这个人正是过去最借着喝盖茨比的酒而恶毒嘲笑他的人之一,我本该知道不该打给他。

葬礼当天早晨,我去纽约找迈耶·沃尔夫山姆,因为似乎没有别的方法能联系到他。根据电梯男孩指点,我推开的门上写着“卐字控股公司”;起初里面似乎没人。可我徒劳喊了几次“有人吗”以后,隔板后传出争执声;不久,一个漂亮的犹太女人从里面门口出现,用充满敌意的黑眼睛审视我。

“没人。”她说,“沃尔夫山姆先生去芝加哥了。”

前半句显然是假话,因为里面已经有人走调地吹起《玫瑰经》。

“请告诉他,卡拉韦先生想见他。”

“我又不能把他从芝加哥叫回来,对吧?”

就在这时,门另一边响起一个毫无疑问属于沃尔夫山姆的声音:“斯特拉!”

“把名字留在桌上吧。”她迅速说,“他回来以后我会转交。”

“可我知道他就在里面。”

她朝我迈近一步,愤怒地把双手沿臀部上下滑动。

“你们这些年轻男人总以为随时都能硬闯进来。”她斥责道,“我们已经受够了。既然我说他在芝加哥,他就在芝加哥。”

我提到盖茨比。

“哦——!”她重新打量我,“请问——你叫什么名字?”

她消失了。片刻后,迈耶·沃尔夫山姆庄重地站在门口,伸出双手。他把我带进办公室,用敬畏语气说这对我们所有人都是悲伤时刻,又递给我一支雪茄。

“我的记忆要回到第一次见他的时候。”他说,“一个刚退伍的年轻少校,身上挂满战争中得到的勋章。他穷得只能一直穿军装,因为买不起普通衣服。我第一次见他,是在四十三街温布伦纳台球厅;他进来找工作。已经两天没吃过东西。‘来和我一起吃午饭吧。’我说。他半小时就吃掉四美元以上的东西。”

“是您带他开始做生意的吗?”我问。

“开始?是我造就了他。”

“哦。”

“我把他从一无所有中拉起来,直接从阴沟里拉出来。我立刻看出,他是个外表体面、举止绅士的年轻人;他说自己上过奥克斯福德,我就知道能好好用他。我让他加入美国退伍军人协会,他在那里很有地位。没多久,他就替我在奥尔巴尼的一个客户做了些事。我们所有事情都亲密成这样。”他举起两根粗短手指,“始终在一起。”

我想知道这种合作是否也包括一九一九年的世界大赛交易。

“现在他死了。”过了一会儿我说,“你是他最亲密的朋友,所以我知道你会愿意参加今天下午的葬礼。”

“我想去。”

“那就来吧。”

他鼻孔里的毛微微颤动;摇头时,眼里充满泪水。

“我做不到——我不能卷进这件事。”他说。

“已经没有什么可以卷进去的了。一切都结束了。”

“一个人被杀以后,我从来不愿以任何方式卷进去。我会躲开。年轻时不一样——如果我的朋友死了,不管怎样,我都会陪到底。你也许觉得这很感伤,可我是认真的——一直陪到苦涩的终点。”

我看出,他由于自己的某种理由,已经坚决决定不来,于是站起身。

“你上过大学吗?”他突然问。

有一瞬间,我以为他要提议某种“联结”,可他只是点点头,同我握手。

“我们应该学会在一个人活着时表现友谊,而不是等他死后。”他建议,“至于以后,我自己的规矩就是一概不管。”

离开办公室时,天空已经变黑;我冒着细雨回到西卵。换过衣服后,我走到隔壁,发现盖茨先生正在门厅里激动地来回踱步。他对儿子和儿子财产的骄傲不断增长,如今有一样东西要给我看。

“吉米寄给我这张照片。”他用颤抖手指拿出钱包,“看这里。”

那是一张房子的照片,四角开裂,被许多双手摸得发脏。他兴奋地给我指出每一处细节:“看这里!”随后从我的眼中寻找赞叹。他展示过太多次,我想如今这张照片对他来说,反而比房子本身更加真实。

“吉米寄给我的。我觉得照片非常漂亮,照得很好。”

“确实很好。您最近见过他吗?”

“两年前他来看过我,还给我买了现在住的房子。当然,他离家出走时我们闹得很僵;可现在我明白,那是有原因的。他知道自己面前有远大前途。而且自从成功以后,他一直对我非常慷慨。”

他似乎舍不得收起照片,又在我眼前依依不舍地举了一分钟,随后把钱包放回去,从口袋里拿出一本破旧的《霍帕朗·卡西迪》。

“看,这是他小时候有的一本书。这就能说明问题。”

他翻到封底,转过来给我看。最后一页上印着“日程表”,日期是一九〇六年九月十二日。下面写着:

早上六点起床;六点十五到六点半做哑铃操和翻墙练习;七点十五到八点十五学习电学等;八点半到下午四点半工作;四点半到五点打棒球和运动;五点到六点练习演说、仪态及其养成方法;七点到九点研究有用的发明。

一般决心

· 不在谢夫特家或(一个无法辨认的名字)浪费时间

· 不再吸烟或嚼烟草

· 每隔一天洗澡

· 每周读一本有助进步的书或杂志

· 每周存五美元(划掉)三美元

· 对父母更好

“我偶然发现这本书。”老人说,“这就能说明问题,对吧?”

“确实能说明问题。”

“吉米注定会出人头地。他总会有这种决心之类的东西。你注意到他写了提高思想吗?他一直很重视这个。有一次他说我吃东西像猪,我还为这件事打了他。”

他舍不得合上书,把每一项大声读出来,随后急切地看着我。我想,他甚至期待我把这份清单抄下来供自己使用。

快三点时,一位路德宗牧师从法拉盛赶来。我不由自主地开始望向窗外,等其他汽车。盖茨比的父亲也一样。时间过去,仆人们走进门厅站着等候,他的眼睛开始焦虑地眨动,又用担忧而不确定的语气谈起雨。牧师好几次看表,我把他拉到一旁,请他再等半小时。可没有用。没有任何人来。

大约五点,我们由三辆车组成的送葬队抵达墓园,在大门旁的浓密细雨中停下——最前面是一辆黑得可怕、全身湿亮的灵车;随后是盖茨先生、牧师和我乘坐的豪华轿车;稍晚一些,四五名仆人和西卵邮差坐着盖茨比的旅行车赶到,全都湿透。我们穿过大门走进墓园时,我听见一辆车停下,接着有人踩着泥泞地面追赶而来。我回头一看,是三个月前那个夜晚在图书馆里惊叹盖茨比藏书、戴猫头鹰眼镜的男人。

从那以后我再没见过他。我不知道他怎样得知葬礼消息,甚至不知道他的姓名。雨水顺着厚眼镜倾泻下来;他取下眼镜擦拭,好看清铺在盖茨比墓穴上方的防雨帆布。

那时我想让自己思考盖茨比片刻,可他已经太遥远了;我只能不带怨恨地想起,黛西既没有送来消息,也没有送来鲜花。我隐约听见有人低声说:“雨落在死者身上,死者有福了。”随后,猫头鹰眼用勇敢声音说:“阿门。”

我们在雨中零零散散地快步走回汽车。猫头鹰眼在大门旁同我说话。

“我没能赶到房子里。”他说。

“其他人也都没去。”

“不会吧!”他吓了一跳,“天哪!以前他们可是成百上千地去。”

他取下眼镜,又把内外擦了一遍。

“这个可怜的混蛋。”他说。

我最鲜明的一段记忆,是圣诞节时从预科学校、后来又从大学返回西部。那些要去比芝加哥更远地方的人,会在十二月傍晚六点聚集到昏暗老旧的联合车站;几位芝加哥朋友已沉浸在自己的节日欢乐中,匆匆赶来告别。我记得从某某女子学校归来的姑娘穿着皮毛外套,记得冻成白雾的闲谈,记得看见老熟人时高举挥动的手,也记得彼此核对邀请:“你会去奥德韦家吗?赫西家呢?舒尔茨家呢?”我们戴着手套的手紧紧握着长长绿色车票。最后,芝加哥、密尔沃基和圣保罗铁路暗黄的车厢停在大门旁轨道上,看起来像圣诞节本身一样愉快。

列车驶进冬夜以后,真正的雪——属于我们的雪——开始在身边铺展开来,在车窗外闪耀;威斯康星小站昏暗灯光不断掠过,一股尖锐狂野的活力突然进入空气。我们从餐车沿冰冷连接通道走回去时,深深吸入那股空气;在一个奇异小时里,我们无法言说地意识到自己同这片土地的身份认同,随后又重新无差别地融进其中。

这就是我的中西部——不是麦田、草原或那些消失的瑞典移民小镇,而是青年时代那些令人激动的返乡列车,是寒冷黑暗中的街灯和雪橇铃,是亮着灯的窗户把冬青花环影子投在雪地上的样子。我是其中一部分;漫长冬季使我略带庄重,在卡拉韦家长大又让我略感自满——在那座城市里,几十年过去,人们仍用家族姓名称呼住宅。我如今明白,归根结底,这一直是一个关于西部的故事——汤姆、盖茨比、黛西、乔丹和我,全都是西部人;也许我们共同带有某种缺陷,使我们暗中无法适应东部生活。

即使东部最令我兴奋时,即使我最清楚感受到它相较于俄亥俄州以外那些无聊、铺张、膨胀城镇的优越时——那些地方没完没了地盘问所有人,只有孩子和老人能够幸免——即使那时,东部对我而言也总带着一种变形感。尤其是西卵,至今仍出现在我最幻想化的梦里。我把它看作一幅埃尔·格列柯式夜景:一百座既传统又怪诞的房屋,蹲伏在阴沉低垂的天空和没有光泽的月亮下。前景里,四个穿礼服、神情庄重的男人沿人行道行走,抬着一副担架;上面躺着一个穿白色晚礼服的醉酒女人。她垂在担架边缘的手,被珠宝照得冷冷发亮。男人们庄严地转进一幢房子——却是错误的房子。可没有人知道那个女人叫什么,也没有人在意。

盖茨比死后,东部在我眼中就是这样被鬼魂缠绕,扭曲到超出视力能够修正的范围。因此,当脆叶蓝烟弥漫空气,风把晾衣绳上的湿衣吹得僵硬时,我决定回家。

离开前还有一件事必须处理,一件尴尬而不愉快、也许本该不管的事。但我想把事情整理清楚,而不是相信那片乐于助人又漠不关心的海会替我卷走垃圾。我去见乔丹·贝克,绕着我们之间发生的事、以及后来发生在我身上的事谈了一遍;她完完全全静躺在一张大椅子里听。

她穿着打高尔夫球的衣服。我记得自己当时觉得她像一幅优秀插图:下巴轻快微扬,头发是秋叶颜色,脸和膝上那只露指手套一样棕黄。我说完以后,她没有评论,只告诉我自己已经和另一个男人订婚。我怀疑这不是真的,虽然只要她点一下头,就有好几个男人愿意娶她;可我仍假装惊讶。有一分钟,我怀疑自己是不是犯了错,随后迅速重新想了一遍,起身告别。

“不过,的确是你甩了我。”乔丹突然说,“你是在电话里甩掉我的。我现在根本不在乎你,可那对我来说是一种新经历,有一阵子我觉得有点晕。”

我们握了手。

“哦,你还记得吗,”她补充,“我们以前谈过一次开车?”

“嗯——不完全记得。”

“你说,糟糕司机在遇到另一个糟糕司机以前都很安全?嗯,我确实遇到了另一个糟糕司机,不是吗?我是说,我做出那么错误的判断,实在太粗心了。我以为你是个相当诚实、坦率的人。我以为那是你秘密的骄傲。”

“我三十岁了。”我说,“我已经大了五岁,不能再对自己撒谎,还把它称作荣誉。”

她没有回答。我又生气,又有一半仍爱她,也极度难过,随后转身离开。

十月下旬一个下午,我看见汤姆·布坎南。他正以警觉、好斗的姿态走在第五大道前方,双手略微离开身体,仿佛准备挡开任何阻碍;脑袋随躁动目光快速转向各处。我放慢脚步,想避免赶上他;可他停下来,开始皱眉盯着珠宝店橱窗。突然他看见我,转身走回来,伸出手。

“怎么了,尼克?你不愿和我握手?”

“是的。你知道我怎么看你。”

“你疯了,尼克。”他迅速说,“疯得厉害。我不知道你出了什么问题。”

“汤姆,”我问,“那天下午你对威尔逊说了什么?”

他一言不发地盯着我;我知道自己对那几个消失小时的猜测是对的。我转身准备离开,他却向前一步,抓住我的胳膊。

“我告诉了他真相。”他说,“我们正准备离开时,他来到门口;我叫人下楼说我们不在,他就想硬闯上楼。要是我没告诉他汽车属于谁,他疯得足够杀掉我。他在屋里每一分钟,手都放在口袋里的左轮手枪上——”他挑衅地停住,“就算我告诉了他又怎样?那家伙罪有应得。他像蒙蔽黛西一样蒙蔽了你,可他是个狠角色。他开车从默特尔身上碾过去,就像你碾过一条狗,甚至连车都没停。”

除了那个无法说出口的事实——这一切并不是真的——我没有任何话可说。

“如果你觉得我没有受苦——听着,我去退掉那套公寓,看见餐具柜上还放着那盒该死的狗饼干时,我坐下来哭得像个婴儿。上帝,那真可怕——”

我无法原谅他,也无法喜欢他;可我看出,在他自己看来,所做的一切完全正当。整件事既粗心又混乱。汤姆和黛西是粗心的人——他们砸碎东西和生命,随后退回自己的金钱、巨大的粗心,或者某种让他们维系在一起的东西里,让别人收拾他们制造的残局……

我同他握了手;不握似乎很愚蠢,因为我突然觉得自己仿佛在同一个孩子说话。随后他走进珠宝店,去买一串珍珠项链——也许只是买一对袖扣——而我则永远摆脱了自己那点外省人的拘谨。

我离开时,盖茨比的房子仍然空着——他草坪上的草已经长得和我家一样高。村里有个出租车司机,每次载客经过大门时都会停一分钟,指着里面讲解;也许事故那晚就是他载黛西和盖茨比去东卵,也许他已经替整件事编出自己的一套故事。我不想听,下火车时总会避开他。

星期六晚上我都待在纽约,因为盖茨比那些闪亮耀眼的宴会仍如此鲜明地跟着我,我仿佛还能听见花园里微弱却持续的音乐和笑声,以及汽车沿车道来来往往。一个夜晚,我确实听见那里驶来一辆真实汽车,看见车灯停在前门台阶旁。可我没有去查看。也许那是某个去了天涯海角、直到现在还不知道宴会已经结束的最后客人。

最后一晚,我已经收好行李,也把汽车卖给杂货商;我又过去看了一次那座巨大、杂乱无章的失败建筑。白色台阶上,有个男孩用一块砖写下一个淫秽词语,在月光中格外清楚;我用鞋底刮擦石面,把它擦掉。随后我走到海滩,伸展开身体躺在沙上。

这时,大多数沿岸豪宅都已经关闭;海面几乎没有灯光,只有一艘渡船模糊移动的光穿过海峡。月亮越升越高,那些无关紧要的房屋开始融化消失;渐渐地,我意识到这里曾有一座古老岛屿,曾经为荷兰水手的眼睛盛开——新世界一片清新绿色的胸膛。那些已经消失的树木——后来为盖茨比房子让路的树木——曾用低语迎合人类最后也是最伟大的梦想。在一个短暂而被施了魔法的时刻,人类一定曾面对这片大陆屏住呼吸,被迫进入一种自己既不理解也不想要的审美凝视;在人类历史上最后一次,他们面对着某种与自身惊奇能力相称的东西。

我坐在那里,沉思那个古老而未知的世界,想到盖茨比第一次辨认出黛西码头尽头绿灯时的惊奇。他一路走了很远才来到这片蓝色草坪,他的梦想一定显得如此接近,仿佛不可能抓不住。他不知道,梦想其实已经在自己身后,留在城市以外那片巨大幽暗中的某处;共和国黑暗田野在那里朝夜色延伸。

盖茨比相信那盏绿灯,相信那个年复一年退到我们前方的狂欢未来。它当时逃过了我们,但没关系——明天我们会跑得更快,把手臂伸得更远……总有一个美好早晨——

于是我们奋力前行,像逆流中的船,不断被推回过去。

English

After two years I remember the rest of that day, and that night and the next day, only as an endless drill of police and photographers and newspaper men in and out of Gatsby’s front door. A rope stretched across the main gate and a policeman by it kept out the curious, but little boys soon discovered that they could enter through my yard, and there were always a few of them clustered open-mouthed about the pool. Someone with a positive manner, perhaps a detective, used the expression “madman” as he bent over Wilson’s body that afternoon, and the adventitious authority of his voice set the key for the newspaper reports next morning.

English

Most of those reports were a nightmare—grotesque, circumstantial, eager, and untrue. When Michaelis’s testimony at the inquest brought to light Wilson’s suspicions of his wife I thought the whole tale would shortly be served up in racy pasquinade—but Catherine, who might have said anything, didn’t say a word. She showed a surprising amount of character about it too—looked at the coroner with determined eyes under that corrected brow of hers, and swore that her sister had never seen Gatsby, that her sister was completely happy with her husband, that her sister had been into no mischief whatever. She convinced herself of it, and cried into her handkerchief, as if the very suggestion was more than she could endure. So Wilson was reduced to a man “deranged by grief” in order that the case might remain in its simplest form. And it rested there.

English

But all this part of it seemed remote and unessential. I found myself on Gatsby’s side, and alone. From the moment I telephoned news of the catastrophe to West Egg village, every surmise about him, and every practical question, was referred to me. At first I was surprised and confused; then, as he lay in his house and didn’t move or breathe or speak, hour upon hour, it grew upon me that I was responsible, because no one else was interested—interested, I mean, with that intense personal interest to which everyone has some vague right at the end.

English

I called up Daisy half an hour after we found him, called her instinctively and without hesitation. But she and Tom had gone away early that afternoon, and taken baggage with them.

English

“Left no address?”

English

“No.”

English

“Say when they’d be back?”

English

“No.”

English

“Any idea where they are? How I could reach them?”

English

“I don’t know. Can’t say.”

English

I wanted to get somebody for him. I wanted to go into the room where he lay and reassure him: “I’ll get somebody for you, Gatsby. Don’t worry. Just trust me and I’ll get somebody for you—”

English

Meyer Wolfshiem’s name wasn’t in the phone book. The butler gave me his office address on Broadway, and I called Information, but by the time I had the number it was long after five, and no one answered the phone.

English

“Will you ring again?”

English

“I’ve rung three times.”

English

“It’s very important.”

English

“Sorry. I’m afraid no one’s there.”

English

I went back to the drawing-room and thought for an instant that they were chance visitors, all these official people who suddenly filled it. But, though they drew back the sheet and looked at Gatsby with shocked eyes, his protest continued in my brain:

English

“Look here, old sport, you’ve got to get somebody for me. You’ve got to try hard. I can’t go through this alone.”

English

Someone started to ask me questions, but I broke away and going upstairs looked hastily through the unlocked parts of his desk—he’d never told me definitely that his parents were dead. But there was nothing—only the picture of Dan Cody, a token of forgotten violence, staring down from the wall.

English

Next morning I sent the butler to New York with a letter to Wolfshiem, which asked for information and urged him to come out on the next train. That request seemed superfluous when I wrote it. I was sure he’d start when he saw the newspapers, just as I was sure there’d be a wire from Daisy before noon—but neither a wire nor Mr. Wolfshiem arrived; no one arrived except more police and photographers and newspaper men. When the butler brought back Wolfshiem’s answer I began to have a feeling of defiance, of scornful solidarity between Gatsby and me against them all.

English

Dear Mr. Carraway. This has been one of the most terrible shocks of my life to me I hardly can believe it that it is true at all. Such a mad act as that man did should make us all think. I cannot come down now as I am tied up in some very important business and cannot get mixed up in this thing now. If there is anything I can do a little later let me know in a letter by Edgar. I hardly know where I am when I hear about a thing like this and am completely knocked down and out.

English

Yours truly

English

Meyer Wolfshiem

English

and then hasty addenda beneath:

English

Let me know about the funeral etc do not know his family at all.

English

When the phone rang that afternoon and Long Distance said Chicago was calling I thought this would be Daisy at last. But the connection came through as a man’s voice, very thin and far away.

English

“This is Slagle speaking …”

English

“Yes?” The name was unfamiliar.

English

“Hell of a note, isn’t it? Get my wire?”

English

“There haven’t been any wires.”

English

“Young Parke’s in trouble,” he said rapidly. “They picked him up when he handed the bonds over the counter. They got a circular from New York giving ’em the numbers just five minutes before. What d’you know about that, hey? You never can tell in these hick towns—”

English

“Hello!” I interrupted breathlessly. “Look here—this isn’t Mr. Gatsby. Mr. Gatsby’s dead.”

English

There was a long silence on the other end of the wire, followed by an exclamation … then a quick squawk as the connection was broken.

English

I think it was on the third day that a telegram signed Henry C. Gatz arrived from a town in Minnesota. It said only that the sender was leaving immediately and to postpone the funeral until he came.

English

It was Gatsby’s father, a solemn old man, very helpless and dismayed, bundled up in a long cheap ulster against the warm September day. His eyes leaked continuously with excitement, and when I took the bag and umbrella from his hands he began to pull so incessantly at his sparse grey beard that I had difficulty in getting off his coat. He was on the point of collapse, so I took him into the music-room and made him sit down while I sent for something to eat. But he wouldn’t eat, and the glass of milk spilled from his trembling hand.

English

“I saw it in the Chicago newspaper,” he said. “It was all in the Chicago newspaper. I started right away.”

English

“I didn’t know how to reach you.”

English

His eyes, seeing nothing, moved ceaselessly about the room.

English

“It was a madman,” he said. “He must have been mad.”

English

“Wouldn’t you like some coffee?” I urged him.

English

“I don’t want anything. I’m all right now, Mr.—”

English

“Carraway.”

English

“Well, I’m all right now. Where have they got Jimmy?”

English

I took him into the drawing-room, where his son lay, and left him there. Some little boys had come up on the steps and were looking into the hall; when I told them who had arrived, they went reluctantly away.

English

After a little while Mr. Gatz opened the door and came out, his mouth ajar, his face flushed slightly, his eyes leaking isolated and unpunctual tears. He had reached an age where death no longer has the quality of ghastly surprise, and when he looked around him now for the first time and saw the height and splendour of the hall and the great rooms opening out from it into other rooms, his grief began to be mixed with an awed pride. I helped him to a bedroom upstairs; while he took off his coat and vest I told him that all arrangements had been deferred until he came.

English

“I didn’t know what you’d want, Mr. Gatsby—”

English

“Gatz is my name.”

English

“—Mr. Gatz. I thought you might want to take the body West.”

English

He shook his head.

English

“Jimmy always liked it better down East. He rose up to his position in the East. Were you a friend of my boy’s, Mr.—?”

English

“We were close friends.”

English

“He had a big future before him, you know. He was only a young man, but he had a lot of brain power here.”

English

He touched his head impressively, and I nodded.

English

“If he’d of lived, he’d of been a great man. A man like James J. Hill. He’d of helped build up the country.”

English

“That’s true,” I said, uncomfortably.

English

He fumbled at the embroidered coverlet, trying to take it from the bed, and lay down stiffly—was instantly asleep.

English

That night an obviously frightened person called up, and demanded to know who I was before he would give his name.

English

“This is Mr. Carraway,” I said.

English

“Oh!” He sounded relieved. “This is Klipspringer.”

English

I was relieved too, for that seemed to promise another friend at Gatsby’s grave. I didn’t want it to be in the papers and draw a sightseeing crowd, so I’d been calling up a few people myself. They were hard to find.

English

“The funeral’s tomorrow,” I said. “Three o’clock, here at the house. I wish you’d tell anybody who’d be interested.”

English

“Oh, I will,” he broke out hastily. “Of course I’m not likely to see anybody, but if I do.”

English

His tone made me suspicious.

English

“Of course you’ll be there yourself.”

English

“Well, I’ll certainly try. What I called up about is—”

English

“Wait a minute,” I interrupted. “How about saying you’ll come?”

English

“Well, the fact is—the truth of the matter is that I’m staying with some people up here in Greenwich, and they rather expect me to be with them tomorrow. In fact, there’s a sort of picnic or something. Of course I’ll do my best to get away.”

English

I ejaculated an unrestrained “Huh!” and he must have heard me, for he went on nervously:

English

“What I called up about was a pair of shoes I left there. I wonder if it’d be too much trouble to have the butler send them on. You see, they’re tennis shoes, and I’m sort of helpless without them. My address is care of B. F.—”

English

I didn’t hear the rest of the name, because I hung up the receiver.

English

After that I felt a certain shame for Gatsby—one gentleman to whom I telephoned implied that he had got what he deserved. However, that was my fault, for he was one of those who used to sneer most bitterly at Gatsby on the courage of Gatsby’s liquor, and I should have known better than to call him.

English

The morning of the funeral I went up to New York to see Meyer Wolfshiem; I couldn’t seem to reach him any other way. The door that I pushed open, on the advice of an elevator boy, was marked “The Swastika Holding Company,” and at first there didn’t seem to be anyone inside. But when I’d shouted “hello” several times in vain, an argument broke out behind a partition, and presently a lovely Jewess appeared at an interior door and scrutinized me with black hostile eyes.

English

“Nobody’s in,” she said. “Mr. Wolfshiem’s gone to Chicago.”

English

The first part of this was obviously untrue, for someone had begun to whistle “The Rosary,” tunelessly, inside.

English

“Please say that Mr. Carraway wants to see him.”

English

“I can’t get him back from Chicago, can I?”

English

At this moment a voice, unmistakably Wolfshiem’s, called “Stella!” from the other side of the door.

English

“Leave your name on the desk,” she said quickly. “I’ll give it to him when he gets back.”

English

“But I know he’s there.”

English

She took a step toward me and began to slide her hands indignantly up and down her hips.

English

“You young men think you can force your way in here any time,” she scolded. “We’re getting sickantired of it. When I say he’s in Chicago, he’s in Chicago.”

English

I mentioned Gatsby.

English

“Oh-h!” She looked at me over again. “Will you just—What was your name?”

English

She vanished. In a moment Meyer Wolfshiem stood solemnly in the doorway, holding out both hands. He drew me into his office, remarking in a reverent voice that it was a sad time for all of us, and offered me a cigar.

English

“My memory goes back to when first I met him,” he said. “A young major just out of the army and covered over with medals he got in the war. He was so hard up he had to keep on wearing his uniform because he couldn’t buy some regular clothes. First time I saw him was when he came into Winebrenner’s poolroom at Forty-third Street and asked for a job. He hadn’t eat anything for a couple of days. ‘Come on have some lunch with me,’ I said. He ate more than four dollars’ worth of food in half an hour.”

English

“Did you start him in business?” I inquired.

English

“Start him! I made him.”

English

“Oh.”

English

“I raised him up out of nothing, right out of the gutter. I saw right away he was a fine-appearing, gentlemanly young man, and when he told me he was at Oggsford I knew I could use him good. I got him to join the American Legion and he used to stand high there. Right off he did some work for a client of mine up to Albany. We were so thick like that in everything”—he held up two bulbous fingers—“always together.”

English

I wondered if this partnership had included the World’s Series transaction in 1919.

English

“Now he’s dead,” I said after a moment. “You were his closest friend, so I know you’ll want to come to his funeral this afternoon.”

English

“I’d like to come.”

English

“Well, come then.”

English

The hair in his nostrils quivered slightly, and as he shook his head his eyes filled with tears.

English

“I can’t do it—I can’t get mixed up in it,” he said.

English

“There’s nothing to get mixed up in. It’s all over now.”

English

“When a man gets killed I never like to get mixed up in it in any way. I keep out. When I was a young man it was different—if a friend of mine died, no matter how, I stuck with them to the end. You may think that’s sentimental, but I mean it—to the bitter end.”

English

I saw that for some reason of his own he was determined not to come, so I stood up.

English

“Are you a college man?” he inquired suddenly.

English

For a moment I thought he was going to suggest a “gonnegtion,” but he only nodded and shook my hand.

English

“Let us learn to show our friendship for a man when he is alive and not after he is dead,” he suggested. “After that my own rule is to let everything alone.”

English

When I left his office the sky had turned dark and I got back to West Egg in a drizzle. After changing my clothes I went next door and found Mr. Gatz walking up and down excitedly in the hall. His pride in his son and in his son’s possessions was continually increasing and now he had something to show me.

English

“Jimmy sent me this picture.” He took out his wallet with trembling fingers. “Look there.”

English

It was a photograph of the house, cracked in the corners and dirty with many hands. He pointed out every detail to me eagerly. “Look there!” and then sought admiration from my eyes. He had shown it so often that I think it was more real to him now than the house itself.

English

“Jimmy sent it to me. I think it’s a very pretty picture. It shows up well.”

English

“Very well. Had you seen him lately?”

English

“He come out to see me two years ago and bought me the house I live in now. Of course we was broke up when he run off from home, but I see now there was a reason for it. He knew he had a big future in front of him. And ever since he made a success he was very generous with me.”

English

He seemed reluctant to put away the picture, held it for another minute, lingeringly, before my eyes. Then he returned the wallet and pulled from his pocket a ragged old copy of a book called Hopalong Cassidy.

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“Look here, this is a book he had when he was a boy. It just shows you.”

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He opened it at the back cover and turned it around for me to see. On the last flyleaf was printed the word schedule, and the date September 12, 1906. And underneath:

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Rise from bed 6:00 a.m. Dumbell exercise and wall-scaling 6:15-6:30 ” Study electricity, etc. 7:15-8:15 ” Work 8:30-4:30 p.m. Baseball and sports 4:30-5:00 ” Practise elocution, poise and how to attain it 5:00-6:00 ” Study needed inventions 7:00-9:00 ”

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General Resolves

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* No wasting time at Shafters or (a name, indecipherable)

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* No more smokeing or chewing.

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* Bath every other day

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* Read one improving book or magazine per week

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* Save $5.00 [crossed out] $3.00 per week

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* Be better to parents

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“I came across this book by accident,” said the old man. “It just shows you, don’t it?”

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“It just shows you.”

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“Jimmy was bound to get ahead. He always had some resolves like this or something. Do you notice what he’s got about improving his mind? He was always great for that. He told me I et like a hog once, and I beat him for it.”

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He was reluctant to close the book, reading each item aloud and then looking eagerly at me. I think he rather expected me to copy down the list for my own use.

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A little before three the Lutheran minister arrived from Flushing, and I began to look involuntarily out the windows for other cars. So did Gatsby’s father. And as the time passed and the servants came in and stood waiting in the hall, his eyes began to blink anxiously, and he spoke of the rain in a worried, uncertain way. The minister glanced several times at his watch, so I took him aside and asked him to wait for half an hour. But it wasn’t any use. Nobody came.

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About five o’clock our procession of three cars reached the cemetery and stopped in a thick drizzle beside the gate—first a motor hearse, horribly black and wet, then Mr. Gatz and the minister and me in the limousine, and a little later four or five servants and the postman from West Egg, in Gatsby’s station wagon, all wet to the skin. As we started through the gate into the cemetery I heard a car stop and then the sound of someone splashing after us over the soggy ground. I looked around. It was the man with owl-eyed glasses whom I had found marvelling over Gatsby’s books in the library one night three months before.

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I’d never seen him since then. I don’t know how he knew about the funeral, or even his name. The rain poured down his thick glasses, and he took them off and wiped them to see the protecting canvas unrolled from Gatsby’s grave.

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I tried to think about Gatsby then for a moment, but he was already too far away, and I could only remember, without resentment, that Daisy hadn’t sent a message or a flower. Dimly I heard someone murmur “Blessed are the dead that the rain falls on,” and then the owl-eyed man said “Amen to that,” in a brave voice.

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We straggled down quickly through the rain to the cars. Owl-eyes spoke to me by the gate.

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“I couldn’t get to the house,” he remarked.

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“Neither could anybody else.”

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“Go on!” He started. “Why, my God! they used to go there by the hundreds.”

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He took off his glasses and wiped them again, outside and in.

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“The poor son-of-a-bitch,” he said.

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One of my most vivid memories is of coming back West from prep school and later from college at Christmas time. Those who went farther than Chicago would gather in the old dim Union Station at six o’clock of a December evening, with a few Chicago friends, already caught up into their own holiday gaieties, to bid them a hasty goodbye. I remember the fur coats of the girls returning from Miss This-or-That’s and the chatter of frozen breath and the hands waving overhead as we caught sight of old acquaintances, and the matchings of invitations: “Are you going to the Ordways’? the Herseys’? the Schultzes’?” and the long green tickets clasped tight in our gloved hands. And last the murky yellow cars of the Chicago, Milwaukee and St. Paul railroad looking cheerful as Christmas itself on the tracks beside the gate.

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When we pulled out into the winter night and the real snow, our snow, began to stretch out beside us and twinkle against the windows, and the dim lights of small Wisconsin stations moved by, a sharp wild brace came suddenly into the air. We drew in deep breaths of it as we walked back from dinner through the cold vestibules, unutterably aware of our identity with this country for one strange hour, before we melted indistinguishably into it again.

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That’s my Middle West—not the wheat or the prairies or the lost Swede towns, but the thrilling returning trains of my youth, and the street lamps and sleigh bells in the frosty dark and the shadows of holly wreaths thrown by lighted windows on the snow. I am part of that, a little solemn with the feel of those long winters, a little complacent from growing up in the Carraway house in a city where dwellings are still called through decades by a family’s name. I see now that this has been a story of the West, after all—Tom and Gatsby, Daisy and Jordan and I, were all Westerners, and perhaps we possessed some deficiency in common which made us subtly unadaptable to Eastern life.

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Even when the East excited me most, even when I was most keenly aware of its superiority to the bored, sprawling, swollen towns beyond the Ohio, with their interminable inquisitions which spared only the children and the very old—even then it had always for me a quality of distortion. West Egg, especially, still figures in my more fantastic dreams. I see it as a night scene by El Greco: a hundred houses, at once conventional and grotesque, crouching under a sullen, overhanging sky and a lustreless moon. In the foreground four solemn men in dress suits are walking along the sidewalk with a stretcher on which lies a drunken woman in a white evening dress. Her hand, which dangles over the side, sparkles cold with jewels. Gravely the men turn in at a house—the wrong house. But no one knows the woman’s name, and no one cares.

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After Gatsby’s death the East was haunted for me like that, distorted beyond my eyes’ power of correction. So when the blue smoke of brittle leaves was in the air and the wind blew the wet laundry stiff on the line I decided to come back home.

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There was one thing to be done before I left, an awkward, unpleasant thing that perhaps had better have been let alone. But I wanted to leave things in order and not just trust that obliging and indifferent sea to sweep my refuse away. I saw Jordan Baker and talked over and around what had happened to us together, and what had happened afterward to me, and she lay perfectly still, listening, in a big chair.

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She was dressed to play golf, and I remember thinking she looked like a good illustration, her chin raised a little jauntily, her hair the colour of an autumn leaf, her face the same brown tint as the fingerless glove on her knee. When I had finished she told me without comment that she was engaged to another man. I doubted that, though there were several she could have married at a nod of her head, but I pretended to be surprised. For just a minute I wondered if I wasn’t making a mistake, then I thought it all over again quickly and got up to say goodbye.

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“Nevertheless you did throw me over,” said Jordan suddenly. “You threw me over on the telephone. I don’t give a damn about you now, but it was a new experience for me, and I felt a little dizzy for a while.”

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We shook hands.

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“Oh, and do you remember”—she added—“a conversation we had once about driving a car?”

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“Why—not exactly.”

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“You said a bad driver was only safe until she met another bad driver? Well, I met another bad driver, didn’t I? I mean it was careless of me to make such a wrong guess. I thought you were rather an honest, straightforward person. I thought it was your secret pride.”

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“I’m thirty,” I said. “I’m five years too old to lie to myself and call it honour.”

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She didn’t answer. Angry, and half in love with her, and tremendously sorry, I turned away.

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One afternoon late in October I saw Tom Buchanan. He was walking ahead of me along Fifth Avenue in his alert, aggressive way, his hands out a little from his body as if to fight off interference, his head moving sharply here and there, adapting itself to his restless eyes. Just as I slowed up to avoid overtaking him he stopped and began frowning into the windows of a jewellery store. Suddenly he saw me and walked back, holding out his hand.

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“What’s the matter, Nick? Do you object to shaking hands with me?”

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“Yes. You know what I think of you.”

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“You’re crazy, Nick,” he said quickly. “Crazy as hell. I don’t know what’s the matter with you.”

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“Tom,” I inquired, “what did you say to Wilson that afternoon?”

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He stared at me without a word, and I knew I had guessed right about those missing hours. I started to turn away, but he took a step after me and grabbed my arm.

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“I told him the truth,” he said. “He came to the door while we were getting ready to leave, and when I sent down word that we weren’t in he tried to force his way upstairs. He was crazy enough to kill me if I hadn’t told him who owned the car. His hand was on a revolver in his pocket every minute he was in the house—” He broke off defiantly. “What if I did tell him? That fellow had it coming to him. He threw dust into your eyes just like he did in Daisy’s, but he was a tough one. He ran over Myrtle like you’d run over a dog and never even stopped his car.”

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There was nothing I could say, except the one unutterable fact that it wasn’t true.

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“And if you think I didn’t have my share of suffering—look here, when I went to give up that flat and saw that damn box of dog biscuits sitting there on the sideboard, I sat down and cried like a baby. By God it was awful—”

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I couldn’t forgive him or like him, but I saw that what he had done was, to him, entirely justified. It was all very careless and confused. They were careless people, Tom and Daisy—they smashed up things and creatures and then retreated back into their money or their vast carelessness, or whatever it was that kept them together, and let other people clean up the mess they had made …

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I shook hands with him; it seemed silly not to, for I felt suddenly as though I were talking to a child. Then he went into the jewellery store to buy a pearl necklace—or perhaps only a pair of cuff buttons—rid of my provincial squeamishness forever.

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Gatsby’s house was still empty when I left—the grass on his lawn had grown as long as mine. One of the taxi drivers in the village never took a fare past the entrance gate without stopping for a minute and pointing inside; perhaps it was he who drove Daisy and Gatsby over to East Egg the night of the accident, and perhaps he had made a story about it all his own. I didn’t want to hear it and I avoided him when I got off the train.

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I spent my Saturday nights in New York because those gleaming, dazzling parties of his were with me so vividly that I could still hear the music and the laughter, faint and incessant, from his garden, and the cars going up and down his drive. One night I did hear a material car there, and saw its lights stop at his front steps. But I didn’t investigate. Probably it was some final guest who had been away at the ends of the earth and didn’t know that the party was over.

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On the last night, with my trunk packed and my car sold to the grocer, I went over and looked at that huge incoherent failure of a house once more. On the white steps an obscene word, scrawled by some boy with a piece of brick, stood out clearly in the moonlight, and I erased it, drawing my shoe raspingly along the stone. Then I wandered down to the beach and sprawled out on the sand.

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Most of the big shore places were closed now and there were hardly any lights except the shadowy, moving glow of a ferryboat across the Sound. And as the moon rose higher the inessential houses began to melt away until gradually I became aware of the old island here that flowered once for Dutch sailors’ eyes—a fresh, green breast of the new world. Its vanished trees, the trees that had made way for Gatsby’s house, had once pandered in whispers to the last and greatest of all human dreams; for a transitory enchanted moment man must have held his breath in the presence of this continent, compelled into an aesthetic contemplation he neither understood nor desired, face to face for the last time in history with something commensurate to his capacity for wonder.

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And as I sat there brooding on the old, unknown world, I thought of Gatsby’s wonder when he first picked out the green light at the end of Daisy’s dock. He had come a long way to this blue lawn, and his dream must have seemed so close that he could hardly fail to grasp it. He did not know that it was already behind him, somewhere back in that vast obscurity beyond the city, where the dark fields of the republic rolled on under the night.

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Gatsby believed in the green light, the orgiastic future that year by year recedes before us. It eluded us then, but that’s no matter—tomorrow we will run faster, stretch out our arms further … And one fine morning—

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So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.

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