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第2章

《弗兰肯斯坦》。默认中文单语阅读;也可以切换任意两列语言:English / 中文。

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本章摘要

维克多回顾自己与伊丽莎白、亨利·克莱瓦尔一起成长的童年,并说明自己从小更关心自然的秘密。十三岁时,他偶然读到科内利厄斯·阿格里帕,继而沉迷帕拉塞尔苏斯、阿尔伯图斯·马格努斯、哲人石与长生不老药。十五岁时,一场雷暴摧毁橡树,电学与伽伐尼理论一度使他放弃旧学说、转向数学,但他后来认为命运最终仍将他推向毁灭。

适合谁读

适合希望借助中文辅助阅读哥特文学、早期科幻和英语经典小说的读者。

现代读者提醒

作品写于十九世纪初,涉及科学观、宗教观、阶级、性别与殖民时代的欧洲社会背景,应结合历史语境阅读。

English

We were brought up together; there was not quite a year difference in our ages. I need not say that we were strangers to any species of disunion or dispute. Harmony was the soul of our companionship, and the diversity and contrast that subsisted in our characters drew us nearer together. Elizabeth was of a calmer and more concentrated disposition; but, with all my ardour, I was capable of a more intense application and was more deeply smitten with the thirst for knowledge. She busied herself with following the aerial creations of the poets; and in the majestic and wondrous scenes which surrounded our Swiss home —the sublime shapes of the mountains, the changes of the seasons, tempest and calm, the silence of winter, and the life and turbulence of our Alpine summers—she found ample scope for admiration and delight. While my companion contemplated with a serious and satisfied spirit the magnificent appearances of things, I delighted in investigating their causes. The world was to me a secret which I desired to divine. Curiosity, earnest research to learn the hidden laws of nature, gladness akin to rapture, as they were unfolded to me, are among the earliest sensations I can remember.

On the birth of a second son, my junior by seven years, my parents gave up entirely their wandering life and fixed themselves in their native country. We possessed a house in Geneva, and a campagne on Belrive, the eastern shore of the lake, at the distance of rather more than a league from the city. We resided principally in the latter, and the lives of my parents were passed in considerable seclusion. It was my temper to avoid a crowd and to attach myself fervently to a few. I was indifferent, therefore, to my school-fellows in general; but I united myself in the bonds of the closest friendship to one among them. Henry Clerval was the son of a merchant of Geneva. He was a boy of singular talent and fancy. He loved enterprise, hardship, and even danger for its own sake. He was deeply read in books of chivalry and romance. He composed heroic songs and began to write many a tale of enchantment and knightly adventure. He tried to make us act plays and to enter into masquerades, in which the characters were drawn from the heroes of Roncesvalles, of the Round Table of King Arthur, and the chivalrous train who shed their blood to redeem the holy sepulchre from the hands of the infidels.

No human being could have passed a happier childhood than myself. My parents were possessed by the very spirit of kindness and indulgence. We felt that they were not the tyrants to rule our lot according to their caprice, but the agents and creators of all the many delights which we enjoyed. When I mingled with other families I distinctly discerned how peculiarly fortunate my lot was, and gratitude assisted the development of filial love.

My temper was sometimes violent, and my passions vehement; but by some law in my temperature they were turned not towards childish pursuits but to an eager desire to learn, and not to learn all things indiscriminately. I confess that neither the structure of languages, nor the code of governments, nor the politics of various states possessed attractions for me. It was the secrets of heaven and earth that I desired to learn; and whether it was the outward substance of things or the inner spirit of nature and the mysterious soul of man that occupied me, still my inquiries were directed to the metaphysical, or in its highest sense, the physical secrets of the world.

Meanwhile Clerval occupied himself, so to speak, with the moral relations of things. The busy stage of life, the virtues of heroes, and the actions of men were his theme; and his hope and his dream was to become one among those whose names are recorded in story as the gallant and adventurous benefactors of our species. The saintly soul of Elizabeth shone like a shrine-dedicated lamp in our peaceful home. Her sympathy was ours; her smile, her soft voice, the sweet glance of her celestial eyes, were ever there to bless and animate us. She was the living spirit of love to soften and attract; I might have become sullen in my study, rough through the ardour of my nature, but that she was there to subdue me to a semblance of her own gentleness. And Clerval—could aught ill entrench on the noble spirit of Clerval? Yet he might not have been so perfectly humane, so thoughtful in his generosity, so full of kindness and tenderness amidst his passion for adventurous exploit, had she not unfolded to him the real loveliness of beneficence and made the doing good the end and aim of his soaring ambition.

I feel exquisite pleasure in dwelling on the recollections of childhood, before misfortune had tainted my mind and changed its bright visions of extensive usefulness into gloomy and narrow reflections upon self. Besides, in drawing the picture of my early days, I also record those events which led, by insensible steps, to my after tale of misery, for when I would account to myself for the birth of that passion which afterwards ruled my destiny I find it arise, like a mountain river, from ignoble and almost forgotten sources; but, swelling as it proceeded, it became the torrent which, in its course, has swept away all my hopes and joys.

Natural philosophy is the genius that has regulated my fate; I desire, therefore, in this narration, to state those facts which led to my predilection for that science. When I was thirteen years of age we all went on a party of pleasure to the baths near Thonon; the inclemency of the weather obliged us to remain a day confined to the inn. In this house I chanced to find a volume of the works of Cornelius Agrippa. I opened it with apathy; the theory which he attempts to demonstrate and the wonderful facts which he relates soon changed this feeling into enthusiasm. A new light seemed to dawn upon my mind, and bounding with joy, I communicated my discovery to my father. My father looked carelessly at the title page of my book and said, “Ah! Cornelius Agrippa! My dear Victor, do not waste your time upon this; it is sad trash.”

If, instead of this remark, my father had taken the pains to explain to me that the principles of Agrippa had been entirely exploded and that a modern system of science had been introduced which possessed much greater powers than the ancient, because the powers of the latter were chimerical, while those of the former were real and practical, under such circumstances I should certainly have thrown Agrippa aside and have contented my imagination, warmed as it was, by returning with greater ardour to my former studies. It is even possible that the train of my ideas would never have received the fatal impulse that led to my ruin. But the cursory glance my father had taken of my volume by no means assured me that he was acquainted with its contents, and I continued to read with the greatest avidity.

When I returned home my first care was to procure the whole works of this author, and afterwards of Paracelsus and Albertus Magnus. I read and studied the wild fancies of these writers with delight; they appeared to me treasures known to few besides myself. I have described myself as always having been imbued with a fervent longing to penetrate the secrets of nature. In spite of the intense labour and wonderful discoveries of modern philosophers, I always came from my studies discontented and unsatisfied. Sir Isaac Newton is said to have avowed that he felt like a child picking up shells beside the great and unexplored ocean of truth. Those of his successors in each branch of natural philosophy with whom I was acquainted appeared even to my boy’s apprehensions as tyros engaged in the same pursuit.

The untaught peasant beheld the elements around him and was acquainted with their practical uses. The most learned philosopher knew little more. He had partially unveiled the face of Nature, but her immortal lineaments were still a wonder and a mystery. He might dissect, anatomise, and give names; but, not to speak of a final cause, causes in their secondary and tertiary grades were utterly unknown to him. I had gazed upon the fortifications and impediments that seemed to keep human beings from entering the citadel of nature, and rashly and ignorantly I had repined.

But here were books, and here were men who had penetrated deeper and knew more. I took their word for all that they averred, and I became their disciple. It may appear strange that such should arise in the eighteenth century; but while I followed the routine of education in the schools of Geneva, I was, to a great degree, self-taught with regard to my favourite studies. My father was not scientific, and I was left to struggle with a child’s blindness, added to a student’s thirst for knowledge. Under the guidance of my new preceptors I entered with the greatest diligence into the search of the philosopher’s stone and the elixir of life; but the latter soon obtained my undivided attention. Wealth was an inferior object, but what glory would attend the discovery if I could banish disease from the human frame and render man invulnerable to any but a violent death!

Nor were these my only visions. The raising of ghosts or devils was a promise liberally accorded by my favourite authors, the fulfilment of which I most eagerly sought; and if my incantations were always unsuccessful, I attributed the failure rather to my own inexperience and mistake than to a want of skill or fidelity in my instructors. And thus for a time I was occupied by exploded systems, mingling, like an unadept, a thousand contradictory theories and floundering desperately in a very slough of multifarious knowledge, guided by an ardent imagination and childish reasoning, till an accident again changed the current of my ideas.

When I was about fifteen years old we had retired to our house near Belrive, when we witnessed a most violent and terrible thunderstorm. It advanced from behind the mountains of Jura, and the thunder burst at once with frightful loudness from various quarters of the heavens. I remained, while the storm lasted, watching its progress with curiosity and delight. As I stood at the door, on a sudden I beheld a stream of fire issue from an old and beautiful oak which stood about twenty yards from our house; and so soon as the dazzling light vanished, the oak had disappeared, and nothing remained but a blasted stump. When we visited it the next morning, we found the tree shattered in a singular manner. It was not splintered by the shock, but entirely reduced to thin ribbons of wood. I never beheld anything so utterly destroyed.

Before this I was not unacquainted with the more obvious laws of electricity. On this occasion a man of great research in natural philosophy was with us, and excited by this catastrophe, he entered on the explanation of a theory which he had formed on the subject of electricity and galvanism, which was at once new and astonishing to me. All that he said threw greatly into the shade Cornelius Agrippa, Albertus Magnus, and Paracelsus, the lords of my imagination; but by some fatality the overthrow of these men disinclined me to pursue my accustomed studies. It seemed to me as if nothing would or could ever be known. All that had so long engaged my attention suddenly grew despicable. By one of those caprices of the mind which we are perhaps most subject to in early youth, I at once gave up my former occupations, set down natural history and all its progeny as a deformed and abortive creation, and entertained the greatest disdain for a would-be science which could never even step within the threshold of real knowledge. In this mood of mind I betook myself to the mathematics and the branches of study appertaining to that science as being built upon secure foundations, and so worthy of my consideration.

Thus strangely are our souls constructed, and by such slight ligaments are we bound to prosperity or ruin. When I look back, it seems to me as if this almost miraculous change of inclination and will was the immediate suggestion of the guardian angel of my life—the last effort made by the spirit of preservation to avert the storm that was even then hanging in the stars and ready to envelop me. Her victory was announced by an unusual tranquillity and gladness of soul which followed the relinquishing of my ancient and latterly tormenting studies. It was thus that I was to be taught to associate evil with their prosecution, happiness with their disregard.

It was a strong effort of the spirit of good, but it was ineffectual. Destiny was too potent, and her immutable laws had decreed my utter and terrible destruction.

中文

我们一起长大,年龄相差不到一岁。我们之间从来没有真正的隔阂或争执。和谐是我们关系的核心,而性格上的差异和对比反而让我们更加亲近。伊丽莎白性情更平静、更专注;我虽然更加热烈,却也能长时间投入到一件事里,而且更强烈地渴望知识。她喜欢追随诗人的想象,在我们瑞士家乡周围雄伟奇妙的景色中——高山的壮丽轮廓、四季变化、暴风雨与平静天气、冬天的寂静、阿尔卑斯山夏季的生机与喧腾——她总能找到无尽的赞叹和快乐。我的伙伴以严肃而满足的心情欣赏事物壮美的外观,而我却喜欢追问它们为什么会这样。对我来说,世界像一个等待破解的秘密。我最早能记得的感受之一,就是好奇、认真探索自然隐藏规律的冲动,以及每当这些规律向我展开一点时,那种近乎狂喜的快乐。

在父母的第二个儿子出生以后——他比我小七岁——父母彻底结束了四处旅行的生活,定居在祖国。我们在日内瓦有一所房子,在湖东岸的贝尔里夫还有一处乡间住宅,距离城里略多于一里格。我们主要住在后者,父母也过着相当安静而离群的生活。我的性格是不喜欢人多,更愿意热烈地依恋少数几个人。因此,我对大多数同学都很冷淡,却同其中一个人结下了最亲密的友谊。亨利·克莱瓦尔是日内瓦一个商人的儿子,是个非常有才华、想象力丰富的少年。他为了冒险本身而热爱冒险,也喜欢艰苦甚至危险。他熟读骑士小说和传奇故事,自己会写英雄歌谣,也开始创作许多魔法故事和骑士冒险。他还总想组织我们演戏、参加化装游戏,扮演龙塞沃战役的英雄、亚瑟王圆桌骑士,以及那些为了从异教徒手中夺回圣墓而流血战斗的骑士人物。

没有人能拥有比我更幸福的童年。我的父母充满慈爱,也十分宽容。我们知道,他们不是凭一时任性决定我们命运的暴君,而是我们生活中种种快乐的创造者和守护者。每当我走进别人的家庭,便能清楚意识到自己的处境有多么幸运,而这种感激又进一步培养了我对父母的爱。

我的脾气有时很暴烈,感情也很强烈;但仿佛出于某种天性,这些力量没有转向孩子气的玩乐,而是转化成旺盛的求知欲,而且我也不是对所有知识都同样感兴趣。坦白说,语言结构、政府制度和各国政治对我都没有吸引力。我真正想知道的是天地之间的秘密。无论吸引我的是事物的外在实体,还是自然内在的精神,或人类神秘的灵魂,我的探索始终指向形而上的问题,或者说,指向这个世界最高层次的自然秘密。

与此同时,克莱瓦尔关注的,可以说是人与人之间的道德关系。热闹的人生舞台、英雄的品德和人类的行动是他最感兴趣的主题;他的希望和梦想,是成为那些被历史记载下来的英勇冒险者和人类恩人中的一员。伊丽莎白圣洁的心灵像一盏献在神龛前的灯,照亮我们安静的家庭。她同情我们的情绪;她的微笑、轻柔的声音和那双仿佛来自天上的眼睛,总能给我们带来安慰和力量。她像爱的化身,让我们变得柔和,也彼此靠近。如果没有她,我可能会因为长期沉浸于学习而变得阴郁,又因为天性中的热烈而变得粗暴;是她让我多少接近她自己的温柔。至于克莱瓦尔——有什么邪恶能侵入他高贵的心灵呢?但即使如此,如果不是伊丽莎白让他真正看见善行的美,并使帮助别人变成他崇高抱负的目标,那么他在热爱冒险的同时,也未必会变得如此富有人情味、如此慷慨体贴,又充满善意与温柔。

回忆童年给我一种难以形容的快乐。那时不幸还没有污染我的心,也没有把我关于广泛造福他人的光明理想,变成后来阴暗而狭窄的自我痛苦。除此以外,当我描写早年的生活时,也是在记录那些一步一步、几乎让人察觉不到地把我带向后来悲惨命运的事件。每当我试图解释,那种后来支配我一生命运的激情究竟从哪里产生时,我发现它像一条山间河流,最初只是从卑微而几乎被遗忘的源头流出;可随着不断向前,它越来越汹涌,最终变成一股洪流,把我所有希望和快乐都冲走了。

自然哲学正是支配我命运的力量,因此在这个故事中,我必须讲清楚自己为什么会偏爱这门学问。十三岁那年,我们全家去托农附近的温泉游玩。天气恶劣,迫使我们有一天整天困在旅店里。我在那里偶然发现一本科内利厄斯·阿格里帕的著作。刚打开时,我并没有兴趣;可他试图证明的理论,以及书中讲述的那些神奇事实,很快把冷淡变成了热情。我仿佛看见一道新的光照进心里,高兴得几乎跳起来,马上把自己的发现告诉父亲。父亲漫不经心地看了一眼书的标题,只说:“啊,科内利厄斯·阿格里帕!亲爱的维克多,别把时间浪费在这种东西上,那都是可悲的胡说。”

如果父亲没有只说这句话,而是耐心解释:阿格里帕的理论早已经被推翻,现代科学已经建立起一套新的体系,而且它比古代学说强大得多,因为后者的力量只是幻想,而现代科学拥有真实而实用的能力;如果他当时这样说明,我一定会把阿格里帕扔到一边,带着被激发起来的想象力,更热烈地回到原来的学习道路上。甚至可以说,我的思想也许永远不会受到后来把我推向毁灭的那一下致命推动。可父亲只是草草看了书一眼,完全不能使我相信他真的了解书里的内容,于是我继续如饥似渴地读下去。

回家以后,我第一件事就是设法买齐这个作者的全部著作,后来又去读帕拉塞尔苏斯和阿尔伯图斯·马格努斯。我兴奋地研读这些作者狂野的幻想,觉得它们像只有极少数人知道的宝藏。我前面已经说过,自己一直怀着炽热的愿望,想穿透自然的秘密。现代哲学家虽然付出巨大努力,也取得许多惊人的发现,可我每次学习以后仍然觉得不满足。有人说,艾萨克·牛顿爵士曾坦言,自己不过像一个孩子,在真理那片辽阔而尚未探索的海洋边捡拾贝壳。至于那些我知道的、在自然哲学各个分支中追随他的人,即使在少年时代的我看来,也不过像刚刚入门的学徒,仍在做同一种探索。

一个没有受过教育的农民,也能看见周围的自然元素,并知道它们有什么实际用途。最有学问的哲学家其实也多知道不了多少。他或许掀开了自然面纱的一角,可自然那永恒的轮廓仍旧是奇迹和秘密。他可以解剖、分析、命名;但别说最终原因,就连第二层、第三层原因,也完全不为他所知。我看着那些仿佛阻挡人类进入自然堡垒的防线和障碍,既鲁莽又无知地感到愤怒和不满。

可现在,这些书就在眼前,这些作者似乎比别人走得更深、知道得更多。我对他们说的一切深信不疑,很快成了他们的门徒。十八世纪里竟出现这样的情况,也许看起来很奇怪;可我虽然按部就班接受日内瓦学校的教育,在自己真正喜欢的领域却很大程度上是自学。父亲不懂科学,于是我只能带着孩子的盲目,再加上学生对知识的饥渴,自己摸索。在这些新导师的引导下,我极其勤奋地寻找哲人石和长生不老药;不过,后者很快完全占据了我的注意力。财富对我来说只是次要目标;可如果我能找到办法,把疾病从人的身体里彻底驱逐,让人除了暴力造成的死亡以外再也不会死去,那将带来怎样的荣耀!

这些还不是我唯一的幻想。我最喜欢的作者们还慷慨许诺,人可以召来鬼魂或恶魔,我也极其热切地试图实现这一点。每次咒语都失败时,我总把原因归结为自己经验不足或者操作有误,而不是怀疑那些老师缺乏本领或不值得信任。就这样,有一段时间,我完全沉浸在早已过时的理论体系中,像一个没有真正入门的人,把上千种相互矛盾的理论混在一起,在五花八门的知识泥沼里拼命挣扎,只靠炽热的想象力和孩子般的推理向前摸索。直到后来的一场意外,再次改变了我思想的方向。

大约十五岁时,我们回到贝尔里夫附近的住宅,亲眼经历了一场极其猛烈可怕的雷暴。暴风雨从汝拉山后面推进,雷声从天空四面八方同时炸响,响得令人恐惧。整个过程中,我一直怀着好奇和兴奋观察风暴怎样移动。就在我站在门口时,忽然看见一道火光击中距离房子大约二十码的一棵古老而美丽的橡树。刺眼的亮光一消失,那棵橡树也仿佛消失了,只剩下一截烧焦破坏的树桩。第二天早晨我们走近查看,发现树木以一种奇怪的方式被摧毁。它并不是被劈成几块,而是整个变成一条条细长的木片。我从没见过什么东西毁坏得如此彻底。

在这以前,我并不是完全不了解电的一些基本规律。那次正好有一位深入研究自然哲学的人同我们在一起。这场雷击引起他的兴趣,他便向我们解释自己关于电和伽伐尼现象的一套理论,而这些内容对我来说既新鲜又惊人。他所说的一切,使科内利厄斯·阿格里帕、阿尔伯图斯·马格努斯和帕拉塞尔苏斯这些曾经主宰我想象的人一下显得黯淡无光。可仿佛命运故意捉弄我一样,这些偶像被推翻以后,我反而失去了继续原有学习的兴趣。我觉得仿佛没有什么东西真正能够被认识。那些长期吸引我注意的内容突然变得可笑。少年时期的心思常常会突然改变,我也就在这种冲动下立刻放弃旧研究,把自然史和它所有相关学科看成一种畸形而失败的产物,对这种连真正知识的大门都迈不进去、却还自称科学的东西充满轻蔑。在这种心态下,我转向数学以及同数学有关的学科,因为它们建立在稳固的基础上,似乎更值得我认真研究。

人的灵魂构造得多么奇怪,而我们同幸福或毁灭之间的联系有时竟如此微弱。现在回头看,我觉得自己那次几乎奇迹般的兴趣转变,仿佛是守护我生命的天使直接给出的提示,是保护力量最后一次试图把我从那场当时已经写在星辰之中、即将把我完全吞没的风暴里拉开。放弃那些古老而后来一直折磨我的研究以后,我心里出现一种异常的平静和快乐,仿佛在宣告这场守护力量暂时取得胜利。我本该由此学会:继续追求那些东西会带来邪恶,而远离它们才会带来幸福。

那确实是善的力量做出的一次强烈努力,可惜毫无作用。命运太过强大,它不可改变的法则已经决定,我终将遭到彻底而可怕的毁灭。

中文

我们一起长大,年龄相差不到一岁。我们之间从来没有真正的隔阂或争执。和谐是我们关系的核心,而性格上的差异和对比反而让我们更加亲近。伊丽莎白性情更平静、更专注;我虽然更加热烈,却也能长时间投入到一件事里,而且更强烈地渴望知识。她喜欢追随诗人的想象,在我们瑞士家乡周围雄伟奇妙的景色中——高山的壮丽轮廓、四季变化、暴风雨与平静天气、冬天的寂静、阿尔卑斯山夏季的生机与喧腾——她总能找到无尽的赞叹和快乐。我的伙伴以严肃而满足的心情欣赏事物壮美的外观,而我却喜欢追问它们为什么会这样。对我来说,世界像一个等待破解的秘密。我最早能记得的感受之一,就是好奇、认真探索自然隐藏规律的冲动,以及每当这些规律向我展开一点时,那种近乎狂喜的快乐。

中文

在父母的第二个儿子出生以后——他比我小七岁——父母彻底结束了四处旅行的生活,定居在祖国。我们在日内瓦有一所房子,在湖东岸的贝尔里夫还有一处乡间住宅,距离城里略多于一里格。我们主要住在后者,父母也过着相当安静而离群的生活。我的性格是不喜欢人多,更愿意热烈地依恋少数几个人。因此,我对大多数同学都很冷淡,却同其中一个人结下了最亲密的友谊。亨利·克莱瓦尔是日内瓦一个商人的儿子,是个非常有才华、想象力丰富的少年。他为了冒险本身而热爱冒险,也喜欢艰苦甚至危险。他熟读骑士小说和传奇故事,自己会写英雄歌谣,也开始创作许多魔法故事和骑士冒险。他还总想组织我们演戏、参加化装游戏,扮演龙塞沃战役的英雄、亚瑟王圆桌骑士,以及那些为了从异教徒手中夺回圣墓而流血战斗的骑士人物。

中文

没有人能拥有比我更幸福的童年。我的父母充满慈爱,也十分宽容。我们知道,他们不是凭一时任性决定我们命运的暴君,而是我们生活中种种快乐的创造者和守护者。每当我走进别人的家庭,便能清楚意识到自己的处境有多么幸运,而这种感激又进一步培养了我对父母的爱。

中文

我的脾气有时很暴烈,感情也很强烈;但仿佛出于某种天性,这些力量没有转向孩子气的玩乐,而是转化成旺盛的求知欲,而且我也不是对所有知识都同样感兴趣。坦白说,语言结构、政府制度和各国政治对我都没有吸引力。我真正想知道的是天地之间的秘密。无论吸引我的是事物的外在实体,还是自然内在的精神,或人类神秘的灵魂,我的探索始终指向形而上的问题,或者说,指向这个世界最高层次的自然秘密。

中文

与此同时,克莱瓦尔关注的,可以说是人与人之间的道德关系。热闹的人生舞台、英雄的品德和人类的行动是他最感兴趣的主题;他的希望和梦想,是成为那些被历史记载下来的英勇冒险者和人类恩人中的一员。伊丽莎白圣洁的心灵像一盏献在神龛前的灯,照亮我们安静的家庭。她同情我们的情绪;她的微笑、轻柔的声音和那双仿佛来自天上的眼睛,总能给我们带来安慰和力量。她像爱的化身,让我们变得柔和,也彼此靠近。如果没有她,我可能会因为长期沉浸于学习而变得阴郁,又因为天性中的热烈而变得粗暴;是她让我多少接近她自己的温柔。至于克莱瓦尔——有什么邪恶能侵入他高贵的心灵呢?但即使如此,如果不是伊丽莎白让他真正看见善行的美,并使帮助别人变成他崇高抱负的目标,那么他在热爱冒险的同时,也未必会变得如此富有人情味、如此慷慨体贴,又充满善意与温柔。

中文

回忆童年给我一种难以形容的快乐。那时不幸还没有污染我的心,也没有把我关于广泛造福他人的光明理想,变成后来阴暗而狭窄的自我痛苦。除此以外,当我描写早年的生活时,也是在记录那些一步一步、几乎让人察觉不到地把我带向后来悲惨命运的事件。每当我试图解释,那种后来支配我一生命运的激情究竟从哪里产生时,我发现它像一条山间河流,最初只是从卑微而几乎被遗忘的源头流出;可随着不断向前,它越来越汹涌,最终变成一股洪流,把我所有希望和快乐都冲走了。

中文

自然哲学正是支配我命运的力量,因此在这个故事中,我必须讲清楚自己为什么会偏爱这门学问。十三岁那年,我们全家去托农附近的温泉游玩。天气恶劣,迫使我们有一天整天困在旅店里。我在那里偶然发现一本科内利厄斯·阿格里帕的著作。刚打开时,我并没有兴趣;可他试图证明的理论,以及书中讲述的那些神奇事实,很快把冷淡变成了热情。我仿佛看见一道新的光照进心里,高兴得几乎跳起来,马上把自己的发现告诉父亲。父亲漫不经心地看了一眼书的标题,只说:“啊,科内利厄斯·阿格里帕!亲爱的维克多,别把时间浪费在这种东西上,那都是可悲的胡说。”

中文

如果父亲没有只说这句话,而是耐心解释:阿格里帕的理论早已经被推翻,现代科学已经建立起一套新的体系,而且它比古代学说强大得多,因为后者的力量只是幻想,而现代科学拥有真实而实用的能力;如果他当时这样说明,我一定会把阿格里帕扔到一边,带着被激发起来的想象力,更热烈地回到原来的学习道路上。甚至可以说,我的思想也许永远不会受到后来把我推向毁灭的那一下致命推动。可父亲只是草草看了书一眼,完全不能使我相信他真的了解书里的内容,于是我继续如饥似渴地读下去。

中文

回家以后,我第一件事就是设法买齐这个作者的全部著作,后来又去读帕拉塞尔苏斯和阿尔伯图斯·马格努斯。我兴奋地研读这些作者狂野的幻想,觉得它们像只有极少数人知道的宝藏。我前面已经说过,自己一直怀着炽热的愿望,想穿透自然的秘密。现代哲学家虽然付出巨大努力,也取得许多惊人的发现,可我每次学习以后仍然觉得不满足。有人说,艾萨克·牛顿爵士曾坦言,自己不过像一个孩子,在真理那片辽阔而尚未探索的海洋边捡拾贝壳。至于那些我知道的、在自然哲学各个分支中追随他的人,即使在少年时代的我看来,也不过像刚刚入门的学徒,仍在做同一种探索。

中文

一个没有受过教育的农民,也能看见周围的自然元素,并知道它们有什么实际用途。最有学问的哲学家其实也多知道不了多少。他或许掀开了自然面纱的一角,可自然那永恒的轮廓仍旧是奇迹和秘密。他可以解剖、分析、命名;但别说最终原因,就连第二层、第三层原因,也完全不为他所知。我看着那些仿佛阻挡人类进入自然堡垒的防线和障碍,既鲁莽又无知地感到愤怒和不满。

中文

可现在,这些书就在眼前,这些作者似乎比别人走得更深、知道得更多。我对他们说的一切深信不疑,很快成了他们的门徒。十八世纪里竟出现这样的情况,也许看起来很奇怪;可我虽然按部就班接受日内瓦学校的教育,在自己真正喜欢的领域却很大程度上是自学。父亲不懂科学,于是我只能带着孩子的盲目,再加上学生对知识的饥渴,自己摸索。在这些新导师的引导下,我极其勤奋地寻找哲人石和长生不老药;不过,后者很快完全占据了我的注意力。财富对我来说只是次要目标;可如果我能找到办法,把疾病从人的身体里彻底驱逐,让人除了暴力造成的死亡以外再也不会死去,那将带来怎样的荣耀!

中文

这些还不是我唯一的幻想。我最喜欢的作者们还慷慨许诺,人可以召来鬼魂或恶魔,我也极其热切地试图实现这一点。每次咒语都失败时,我总把原因归结为自己经验不足或者操作有误,而不是怀疑那些老师缺乏本领或不值得信任。就这样,有一段时间,我完全沉浸在早已过时的理论体系中,像一个没有真正入门的人,把上千种相互矛盾的理论混在一起,在五花八门的知识泥沼里拼命挣扎,只靠炽热的想象力和孩子般的推理向前摸索。直到后来的一场意外,再次改变了我思想的方向。

中文

大约十五岁时,我们回到贝尔里夫附近的住宅,亲眼经历了一场极其猛烈可怕的雷暴。暴风雨从汝拉山后面推进,雷声从天空四面八方同时炸响,响得令人恐惧。整个过程中,我一直怀着好奇和兴奋观察风暴怎样移动。就在我站在门口时,忽然看见一道火光击中距离房子大约二十码的一棵古老而美丽的橡树。刺眼的亮光一消失,那棵橡树也仿佛消失了,只剩下一截烧焦破坏的树桩。第二天早晨我们走近查看,发现树木以一种奇怪的方式被摧毁。它并不是被劈成几块,而是整个变成一条条细长的木片。我从没见过什么东西毁坏得如此彻底。

中文

在这以前,我并不是完全不了解电的一些基本规律。那次正好有一位深入研究自然哲学的人同我们在一起。这场雷击引起他的兴趣,他便向我们解释自己关于电和伽伐尼现象的一套理论,而这些内容对我来说既新鲜又惊人。他所说的一切,使科内利厄斯·阿格里帕、阿尔伯图斯·马格努斯和帕拉塞尔苏斯这些曾经主宰我想象的人一下显得黯淡无光。可仿佛命运故意捉弄我一样,这些偶像被推翻以后,我反而失去了继续原有学习的兴趣。我觉得仿佛没有什么东西真正能够被认识。那些长期吸引我注意的内容突然变得可笑。少年时期的心思常常会突然改变,我也就在这种冲动下立刻放弃旧研究,把自然史和它所有相关学科看成一种畸形而失败的产物,对这种连真正知识的大门都迈不进去、却还自称科学的东西充满轻蔑。在这种心态下,我转向数学以及同数学有关的学科,因为它们建立在稳固的基础上,似乎更值得我认真研究。

中文

人的灵魂构造得多么奇怪,而我们同幸福或毁灭之间的联系有时竟如此微弱。现在回头看,我觉得自己那次几乎奇迹般的兴趣转变,仿佛是守护我生命的天使直接给出的提示,是保护力量最后一次试图把我从那场当时已经写在星辰之中、即将把我完全吞没的风暴里拉开。放弃那些古老而后来一直折磨我的研究以后,我心里出现一种异常的平静和快乐,仿佛在宣告这场守护力量暂时取得胜利。我本该由此学会:继续追求那些东西会带来邪恶,而远离它们才会带来幸福。

中文

那确实是善的力量做出的一次强烈努力,可惜毫无作用。命运太过强大,它不可改变的法则已经决定,我终将遭到彻底而可怕的毁灭。